Parenting

Sarah’s Mom Tips: Two Questions to Jump Start Your Fun-Schooling

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / 3 Comments
Ember creating Dead Sea Soaks
Abby making Jerusalem Stone bracelets

Do you have kids who don’t want anything to do with “FUN-school”?

MOM TIP: Some kids blank out, show resistance and roll their eyes when you say “What do you want to learn about?”

I have found that you will get a lot farther with a difficult child when you ask these 2 questions instead:

1. What do you want to DO?

2. What do you want to KNOW?

Learning is just the journey to reach the end goals of “knowing and doing.” Kids WANT to DO and KNOW.

To learn is HOW we find out the way to DO & to KNOW.

The idea of learning makes kids miserable because so much of traditional learning is irrelevant to their goals of DOING and KNOWING.

Every child wants to KNOW STUFF.

Every Child wants to DO STUFF.

Even my five new kids who spent 4 years in an orphanage want to KNOW and DO… but ask them what they want to “Learn for School” and they meltdown or shutdown or reject the whole idea of learning. They were so excited to talk about what they want to KNOW and DO.

Once I knew what they were interested in actually accomplishing, I started giving them tools to reach their goals, and they don’t even think it is “education” because this looks nothing like the “school” they had in mind.

Intentional Motherhood: The Fulfillment

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Children are the fulfillment of my dream because I have faith that we are raising them to be voices of hope in this crazy world. Sometimes we need courage to trust that we don’t have to give our children the same lifestyle our parents gave us. We can look at what our parents did wrong and be different. My husband grew up with a dad who overcame addictions and was married three times. My husband came from a broken home, and through his trauma he decided to fight for the opposite, by the grace of God. I know in my family the calling is very unique in these modern times. Very few will have what it takes to raise 15 kids, but if it’s your dream, it is possible! If God calls you to, have a big family!

Josh and I love raising children. We have built a really sweet life and joyful marriage. What we have is rare, and people like us should be raising kids, lots of them! And people like us should be the ones adopting! If you have a heart for children don’t be afraid to follow the calling and find ways to fill your life with children who need love, hope and healing. Children are the greatest investment we could ever make in this world. They have the potential to lead this world out of darkness and into the light! But not if the Christians raise their few children to shun the idea of nurturing the future generations, because it’s so stressful or whatever.

Mothers! Show your children what a treasure they are to you! Speak joy! Let them see your delight. My children know that I think they are gifts to planet Earth! Why are we kinda different?

Josh and I read the Bible together (through the Bible in a year) when we were teens. We met when we were 13 and 14. We had a calling on our lives to surrender everything for the high calling of the gospel! We saw over and over that children are called a gift, an honor, and joy. We saw the darkness of the world, growing darker. We felt like we were nearing the end times and had a call upon our marriage to raise up children who would be well prepared to go out into the darkness to be a light for the gospel. We wanted to raise them without fear of evil, but confidence in the power of God to rescue, love, heal, and bring forgiveness to the hurting.

We didn’t just want to raise up kids that would be missionaries and Sunday school teachers or worship leaders – like working in the church is the only Christian calling. We wanted to raise them to be leaders in the Arts, in science, in politics, in social media, in education, entertainment, music, business, and in the gifting of the Holy Spirit to shine like stars in the darkness and to show the way of love, kindness and peace where there is pain.

We considered each of the children to have a unique and precious calling, talent set, and unique individuality that would need to be respected. Each child would grow up to have something to bring into the world to show the glory of the Creator. This is not a common passion I see in very many couples planning their families. But we do know quite a few other families doing the same. And we are eager to teach others from what we have discovered. But unfortunately you just don’t hear it taught in church that it is a high calling and worthy sacrifice to raise up children intentionally for the Kingdom.

And as a teen I sought to choose a husband specifically for his heart for children, Jesus and the Arts. I had a wish list. I knew I wanted a big family, so I didn’t just fall in love with some random cutie–I chose my husband because I saw great qualities of a future father, and I saw his heart for Jesus and his unique pursuits in the Arts and science. I wasn’t lucky, I was intentional. I wasn’t lucky, I was blessed! I wasn’t lucky, I worked hard! I wasn’t lucky, I believed God’s words!

What vision are you passing along to the next generation? Your life is a testimony and witness to our youth. If they become like you, if they listen to you, if they catch your vision — will they bring light into this darkness?

Intentional Motherhood: The Vision

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At church this evening my teen daughters were learning about the calling of Mary to bring Jesus into the world. In the discussion after the Bible Study my daughters learned that most of the other girls in their group think that motherhood is a poor choice, not worth the sacrifice to the woman’s body, and having a family is an unrealistic goal in this dark and miserable world.

My daughters tried to share a different perspective but informed about “the real world”. Nothing new here. When I was a teen who wanted to be a “stay at home mom” and an artist with a home-based business, my friends made fun of me, and said motherhood is a waste and it’s stupid to bring children into this horrible world. I longed to have children who would make this world more beautiful.

Having children was no sacrifice at all. It can be a lot of work at times; but from my perspective, giving life was the fulfillment of a beautiful dream. Having each child was like receiving a beautiful chest full of precious treasure every time. After our ten children were born (and for the first time ever our income was more than we needed to survive), we answered the call to adopt five more children. I was not an overwhelmed unhappy mother. I thought of the calling as the biggest privilege!

Adoption wasn’t easy, but after all the gifts God has given me, He was so generous to trust me with even more souls to care for. And though it was really hard, I see such beautiful fruit! These girls in our community have learned a lot in school and social media about life goals. From the outside you see the ideal, picture-perfect suburban life that their parents worked very hard to give them. Others come from broken homes, though they live in picture- perfect neighborhoods. They complain of the darkness and evil in the world, yet live in one of the most prosperous and safe places on this rocky earth! They have the best the world has to offer, and they are stressed and discouraged about the future. (Click here to continue reading.)

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A Mother’s Calling

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I’m at a cafe today

Flipping through the pages

Of a journal I filled

When Anna was seven

I read the prayers

Of a discouraged mother

Who had hope

That someday

This little girl would read and write

But most of all,

I poured out my heart

That I could be devoted

to preparing Anna

To serve and follow God

In the calling He had for her

Not my plan

But His.

March 2, 2008 (Anna age seven)

Oh Lord I come to you and pray that Anna’s heart would be so fervent for you. Open her eyes to see you, give her ears to hear. Let her be hungry for your word and thirsty for more of your presence.

Help me to be full of wisdom to show her your path. Help me to teach her what YOU want her to know.

Help her to read very well soon.

I will trust you to show me how to help her. Give her a strong desire to learn. Let her mind be strong to grasp the things that will help her to be fluent in her reading. Let her develop a great love for reading even now.

Help me to devote myself to prepare her to serve and follow you in the calling that you have for her.

In Jesus name, Amen.

————-

As I read my prayer from 15 years ago I remember feeling God impressing upon me to NOT raise her to reflect the teaching of the current culture or the standardized path that so many were pressuring me to take. I saw an anointing upon her, and I felt so strongly not to try to conform to the ways of the world in raising her, to block out the well-meaning voices of concerned relatives and friends because this child was chosen to do things in this world that a person with a standardized education could never have the time or creativity to do. “Let her be an artist,” God spoke to my heart. “Let her major in the Arts now”, my heart demanded.

If there were two things I knew about my call to raise Anna, they were: Empower her in creativity and plant the most beautiful seeds of Art and God’s word into the garden of her heart. It was obvious that she was an artist and a storyteller and she assured me that she didn’t need to learn to read to become an artist. I assured her that God would not have put the Bible in written form if He wasn’t going to give her the power to read it.

The Arts, Travel, History of Fashion, and the Bible became her entire curriculum throughout her homeschooling years from age 6 to 15. At 15 she wanted to add singing and songwriting to the plan and I hired Christine Dente to be her coach. At age 17 she completed the writing of an audio musical about the life of Jesus. It was her senior project, bringing forth all of her learning from her childhood. That year I didn’t require any other schoolwork — “Just write your musical” — and she did!

Learn what has become of her talents, her hunger for God’s word, her thirst for His presence and her devotion to serve Jesus and follow His calling to reveal His heart to this world… see how He answered the prayers of a discouraged mother who sought God’s will and not the world’s for one little girl. Anna’s faith is beautiful, free, passionate, and alive. She is a bright light in the darkness and brings me so much joy.

HisStoryTheMusical.com

Anna today.

Fun-Schooling Pep Talk! (Part 2)

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I ended my last blog post telling you that after 16 years of motherhood and trying lots of different homeschool methodologies, I quit.

What did I quit?

I quit dipping my toes in the shallow water while my children called to me from the deep end where they knew best what made them sink or float and I learned to trust.

I had tried a little bit of so many different things and nothing added up, it was all too hard, too much, too soon, and I tried. I thought I had failed and yet they thrived because everything I thought would never be enough added up to so much more that I could ever understand. And they were brave, and they were curious, and they were hungry to learn about this planet we call home, and I never thought I could ever give enough, but all I have is all God gave me… And it’s plenty.

But what about the mess, the stress, the fears, the changes that I struggled with in the dark, while my children were playing in the light? I was trying so hard to do it all, and so many voices from the outside spat out worries, saying I’m not enough. But I was enough.

These are the children entrusted to me, and this is the place we are in, and these are the tools, the ideas and the passions we share. And my children will not be like any others, they are not even a bit like each other, but they are the ones that I have been given to love.

So after 16 years of struggle, of reading mountains of books on dyslexia, Unschooling, Charlotte Mason, Classical Education, Autism, Delight-Directed learning, Montessori, Free Schools, conventional education, one room school house models, entrepreneur-based learning, passion driven learning, element, flow, talent and disability… I tried to put it all together, and glean the best of every world, and customize every child’s education based on their learning style, love language, career goals and special needs. And I wore myself out. Until I gave up trying to do it all, and created the first Do-it-Yourself Homeschooling Journal, just in time for the birth of my 10th baby.

I created the journal from a place of pain, discouragement, need, and hope. I had given up the idea that I could custom design each child’s curriculum and decided to find a way to set them free to “Do-it-Yourself” within the boundaries of all the wisdom I had embraced over the years. When I created the first DIY Fun-Schooling Journal I thought I was cheating my kids, because my whole plan was to make a curriculum that set ME FREE from having to homeschool! I was going to put my entire philosophy of how children learn into a journal that would keep them busy learning for 4 hours a day for 60 days… So I could take a break for 6 weeks with my new baby. It worked.

They used my system to study their passions and cover all the basics while I took care of my baby and enjoyed her to the fullest. The DIY system worked so well I was able to focus more and more on being mommy and less on stressing over Homeschooling. So when the 6 weeks were over, we didn’t stop Fun-Schooling. My children wanted more DIY Homeschooling Journals, but they wanted to help design them, and so we did.

And now we are overwhelming YOU, with so many options for homeschooling that maybe you are smiling through your tears cause you have no clue what to do, and you want to dive in deep but it’s still scary. So you wonder how to start, and you haven’t read the 200 books I read that inspired me to design this system of learning, and you wonder if you should trust, try it or keep experimenting. Something in you says go all the way, and other voices say it isn’t safe, so what are you gonna do?

Is there a way to homeschool without fear? No. I don’t think so. It’s the fear that motivates us to be brave. It’s not the kind of fear that hurts us and binds up and traps us. It’s a feeling of greatness, wonder, power and depth that makes each of us feel so small…

Let that kind of fear stir up courage to do what you need to do, to be who you need to be, to dive in completely, and trust. It’s more fun in the deep end anyway. Just ask your kids.

Want to take it to the next level? Start your own Fun-Schooling co-op! Here’s the perfect book for you!

Fun-Schooling Pep Talk! (Part 1)

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / 1 Comment

When you first started Fun-Schooling with Thinking Tree Books you were probably feeling kind of overwhelmed with all the options to choose from, not sure how to build a curriculum for your child. You just look at all these beautiful books and wonder what’s inside and wonder…

Will my child be able to embrace this style of learning?

Is it enough?

Is it okay for children to have fun and study what they love instead of staying on the tried and true educational path set years ago my the experts of yester-year?

Is it really okay that they are not learning all the sames things the grandparents studied in the 1950’s?

Can Fun-Schooling really provide a well rounded education when the whole point is for the child to dig deep into their specific passions and interests?

So many questions, fears, worries all mixed with the joy and wonder of discovering a way of learning that makes total sense!

So you dip in your toes, and maybe your child just gets it and is already diving into the deep end.

Or maybe you get it because you read Brave Learner and Unschooling Rules and The Unhurried Homeschooler and it all is the perfect fit for the homeschooling plan of your dreams… But your child has been so scarred by “kill and drill” learning methods that they resist EVERYTHING.

Or maybe you were so relaxed in the past, and gave your soul over to radical Unschooling, and now your child scoffs at your efforts to get more organized with Fun-Schooling… because they would rather play Fortnight, and doesn’t that matter anymore? They fuss and cry at ALL structure.

So we plan, we dream, we fight, we cry, and we let go, and then we hold on tight because that’s motherhood.

And all you know is that trying to be a teacher is no fun, because your child actually can not sit still, and you know in your heart your child was not created to sit still… Children need to be free within safe boundaries, to learn when curiosity sparks, to discover who they are, what love is, and to learn to think deeply, live passionately, to grow through the growing pains and to learn to navigate this Earth, with wisdom.

And so you balance freedom with responsibility.

You measure out the boundaries of purpose and pleasure.

You walk the path ever-changing, never knowing where this road will lead… because it’s full of wonder, and questions, and struggle, and newness, and growth. And just when you think you mastered the game, the rules change, the seasons change, the relationships change, and life happens…

And it’s oh so messy.

And you wonder how you could ever prepare a child for the unknown future of a changing world.

You study the child. You seek to understand their individual gifts, weaknesses, passions and learning styles. You adapt your strategy to their personality and everything keeps changing. And then they are gone.

Go ahead and cry, because this is every mother’s journey and even more so when you take on the great responsibility of giving your child an education that was dreamed up, just for them.

I hear you. I see you. I’m on this journey too.

And I hope that all that I have been through raising 15 vastly unique children, each with gifts and problems all their own, and dreams so diverse it’s enough to make you crazy. And somehow, after about 16 years of doing this Homeschooling Mom thing, I quit.

Come back soon for my next post, to find out what I did next!

Making the Ordinary Extraordinary

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / 1 Comment
Shot from Olive Branch Farm, courtesy of Toni Jackson-Lawrence

I try to infuse beauty and creativity into the simple things of life wherever I am, when we have little or much. It’s all about seeing the ordinary and everyday things as opportunities for wonder, spice, faith and shared delight.

In 2010, a realtor came to look at the house we are moving from, she said we need paint over all the murals because people want ordinary houses to imagine their own ordinary lives in.

Some people are talented with paints and pencils, others craft with words, still others are creative in providing memorable experiences. Truly, anyone can make the ordinary extraordinary–because what makes life beautiful are the people, the shared moments and smiles, baby giggles, the love and learning, the music, making and experimenting, time in worship, perhaps some furry cuddles, investing time in doing things together…and maybe a sweet treat or two!

Join us for about 5 minutes with the Brown family on a rainy day over a decade ago. The same things that made life feel magical back then still create the same wonder today!

Your Husband & Homeschooling

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

Ladies, just a word of encouragement – Thank each of your husbands today, or this evening, for all he does to support you as a homeschooling mom. Husbands often feel like they are not part of what is happening with homeschooling, and if you are a super busy homeschool mom – well, that can be hard on the marriage.

When I created all the Fun-Schooling books I wanted to provide my family with a method of homeschooling that wouldn’t wear me out. My relationship with my husband is the most important in the family, my whole life is built on my bond with my husband. So don’t be too busy or too focused on being a teacher that you don’t have time and energy for your husband. Homeschooling can make us forget that we are a wife and mom, so be sure to enjoy your role as a wife.

If you are enjoying using Thinking Tree Books – Be sure to show him your appreciation for making it possible to buy the books. Be sure to let him know that the books have not only been a great tool for the kids, but also bring you joy.

If homeschooling is dominating your whole life and you are finding distance in your marriage because of the stress of homeschooling, you may need to change something. You may need to get out of the box. Delight Directed Learning, Fun-Schooling and Un-Schooling can really bring relief and joy into your family.

As you launch into this year’s homeschooling adventure be sure to consider your marriage. Don’t choose a curriculum that is going to sap you dry. Choose a method that allows you to keep your marriage #1. My husband often says “Happy Wife – Happy Life”.

Don’t feel like you are failing your kids if you choose methods that make you, and your kids, and your husband happy. Many people feel like they are not doing “enough” if school isn’t rigorous and stressful. What you may need to do is write down your LONG TERM goals for your marriage, your family and for each child. You can feel good about letting go of anything that is irrelevant to your long term goals. Don’t do anything in your homeschool out of guilt, pride or fear – learning should be joyful.

Let learning be part of life, and enjoy a life of learning together with your family. Amen? Here is a great resource for Dad to get involved:

Unplug!

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

Last year I did an experiment, and over the weekend, from Friday morning to Monday morning, I deleted Facebook, Instagram and Messenger from my phone–and I learned something. I made a concerted effort to be more present, less distracted. I put first things first. Sometimes I feel like my presence on social media is so “valuable” that I overlook my family’s needs, and even my own need for focus and a deeper prayer life.

It was so refreshing to me to unplug. Have you tried it? How did it go? Post a picture! You didn’t miss ANYTHING while you were offline, I promise. But how much would you have missed this weekend if you had been distracted by that endless newsfeed and the confusing voices of Social Media? Our families need us far more than we need Facebook.

I decided at that time that for the following 2 months I would get offline every weekend and just be more present in my home, with my family, in my marriage and in deeper prayer and devotion. It was so good for my soul to let go.

Here’s a book I published a few years ago to help with such a mission. It’s only $10 – the best $10 you could spend today on your much-deserved self!

Get it here: https://amzn.to/3oXzBmS

Friend, do you need more time to focus on what really matters? Do you need more peace, more strength, more energy, more focus, more devotion and more joy? You can have it all! It’s waiting in the quiet place where you unplug and unwrap all the good gifts your home life has to offer you. Try to unplug one, two or three days in the week. It will be so, so, so good for your body, soul, mind and spirit! It will be so good for your family, for your marriage and for your life work.

When you unplug and refocus you will be in a place to remember your purpose, to reflect on your unique calling, and you will be in a place to treasure the gifts you have been given.

Social Media can be a thief in many ways and we must not let it have access to our hearts and lives in such a way that we become more responsive to our phones than we are to our husbands. Social Media can also give us an unrealistic idea of what we should be as women. Social Media can be a drain and steal words and energy that were meant for your children… instead of the masses. Social Media can be a troubling voice that shouts confusion, presents fake news, sucks us into weird videos, and plants into our minds a diluted vision of reality. Yuck, we must be on guard.

In the same light, Facebook can be a wonderful tool for connection, encouragement and a place where friends can be found, and good things can be discovered and discussed. But we must control it and not let it control us. Use your Social Media for good. Use it to be a voice of blessing, strength, hope, friendship, kindness and light. Use it to share wisdom, ideas and experience. Use it intentionally by going directly to the groups that fill your heart and inspire you in positive ways to be a better and smarter mama.

The point is: BE intentional.

Maybe turn off notifications and tune in to your own heart a little better. Turn off your phone in the evening so you can be focused more on your marriage. Listen to the precious little voices all around your home. So often we wonder why we are struggling so much in our relationships. Is it because we are distracted from investing in them? Let’s not shift the blame and say that we are lonely because of someone else’s addiction to their phone. We get sucked into Social Media at times to push away the loneliness. But is this the best? Change begins with you. Create a place of joy. Invent an atmosphere of fun, peace, learning and even romance. It’s actually up to you, because you can only change yourself and your habits. And you are not alone. We are in this together, as women who are unplugging together to build up our families and to be refreshed.

And after you unplug, return to our Facebook group, and bless the women there with your new ideas and your fresh joy! Share pictures from your weekend off! Show us what you would have missed if you have been scrolling Facebook instead.

This little book is a simple tool to help you change your daily habits, and it has been a blessing to many! I hope it is a blessing to you! Click the image below to get yours!

The “Why” of Mom-Schooling

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Mom-School happens when you remember who you are through your passions, your interests and your needs. You fill a basket with learning tools for yourself, then in your free time you dig into your Mom-School Basket, read a book or watch a tutorial about something you want to learn… instead of watching TV, Netflix, or cruising Facebook.

Mom-School energizes me while the children curiously look into my basket, watch me learn, see me grow… and they discover that I am not just their mom, but a woman with dreams, goals, ideas, needs and desires.

They see me research and join me for an online class, they flip through my Mom-School Journal and see my careful efforts and beautiful handwriting. They see me as someone who is curious, they see me as a detective, an explorer, a creator, a follower, a leader and a friend.

Mom-School is waking up with ideas, and being full of wonder. It’s problem solving and crafting, it’s higher education or a new recipe.

Mom-School is remembering who you are in the midst of the busy season of mothering and holding on to your dreams so your children will be inspired to become who they were created to be, because they are basking in the example of you.

Mom-School is refreshing and calming, and it’s worth your time and mine. Mom-School is empowering to you as a woman and sets the stage for your children to follow your example because you make learning look so delightful.

Join our Mom-Schooling Facebook group here!