Here’s a poem I wrote in my Journal back in 2001, when I was 24, a busy young mom with three little children. It’s all about the dreams in my heart, and my hopes for the future. So many of those hopes and dreams have far exceeded what I could have ever imagined.
Tomorrow I want to paint my walls with hills and trees, butterflies and clouds, and sing the songs from “The Sound of Music”. Tomorrow I want to ignore the laundry and play outside with my toddlers. I want to be close to creation. I want to feel the wind and the rain and watch the sky.
Tomorrow I want to wake up in my husband’s arms, and listen as he prays for our family. And I really want to live my life like I was designed to live it. I want music, purity, sunlight and the laughter of children. I want to know the one who made me, yes, I want to make God smile.
Tomorrow I want to bring fresh milk from the barn, bring fresh flowers to the table, and let my little son feel the joy of gathering a basket of fresh eggs. I want to look out the window and watch the neighbor’s horses run. I want to share my two-year-old’s amazement as we examine the beans spouting in a jar on the windowsill. I want to build Lego towers, block towers, and couch pillow towers… again and again and again. I want to watch with wonder as my baby girl falls asleep to Mozart.
I want to fill my house with used books and take time to read them. I want to learn all about the way my great grandmothers lived, and teach those skills to others. I want to make things I couldn’t buy, and make other things anyway. I want to make my home an expression of creativity, discovery and faith and I want my heart to be an expression of Jesus.
Tomorrow I want to listen to the hearts of my children and be the one who nurtures them from sunrise and sunset and all through the night. I want to giggle with my daughters and read about tractors with my son. I want to smile when people tell me that I must have my hands full, smile, knowing that my hands are full of blessings.
Tomorrow I want my husband to come home to joy, to peace and to unconditional love. I want to kiss him and rub his back if he’s achy. I want him to enjoy a meal seasoned with herbs from our garden. I want to sit on the porch swing with him and watch the sun set and seasons change. I want to listen as he talks about his computer business and all the new people he meets, then talk about making plans to go to Austria again, or drive down the west coast.
Tomorrow I want to say yes to the things that matter most, and say no to the things that stand in the way of peace. I want simplicity. I want to live by faith. I want my neighbors to see a candle burning in the window, but never the blue glow of a television set. I want to be thankful and content with what I have and when I have more than what I need, I want to give. I want to give even when I must sacrifice.
Tomorrow evening I want to put on my shoes and jacket and go out to the barn. I want to pass the chicken coop and peek in at the hens as they huddle close, dozing on their roost. I want to sing quietly as I milk my goat by lantern light, then take a little time just to look up at the stars, and say a few words to the one who made them.
Tomorrow night I want to fall asleep in a room with wood floors and soft yellow walls as my husband reads the bible to me. I want to dream big dreams, and then make them come true… in my own back yard.
I guess what I really want is for tomorrow to be… a lot like today.
Recently, I discovered a treasure trove of great content for the blog in a journal I filled when Anna was 7-8 and Laura was on the way, and Susie was still a baby. I wrote up six interesting pages where I was trying to express who I am and what motivates me. This kind of journaling can be very therapeutic for us as moms. I thought it might bless others to be able to share in my thoughts from these early years…the growing list of posts can be found here.
Here I am
Waiting for the warmth of spring
Colors soft yellow and green
bright skies and warm dark earth.
Plant me-I’ll take root
Water me-I’ll bear fruit
Shine on me-I’ll shine for you
Speak to me-I’ll sing to you.
I want to be your delight
I want to be like a baby in your arms
I want to see you smile at my song
I just long to draw closer to you.
I feel a baby move inside of me
I wonder who this little one will be
On the day that I give birth
May your glory come to earth
As the beauty of your power is displayed
In the face of a child you have made.
When the flowers of spring appear
I will wait to whisper in your ear
And praise you for the greatness of your plan
I will praise and worship you and pray
For your glory to fill our house that day.
Laura’s Peaceful Home Birth
Laura’s home birth was so precious. She was actually born at a moment when no one was paying attention except Anna who was in the birth pool with me. Here are some sweet photos and video from the hour Laura was born and a few pictures from her first week of life.
This past week, we hosted a Medicinal Tea Workshop at Olive Branch Farm. Our next event will be in February…follow me on Facebook for that announcement.
Creating tea blends is a new favorite hobby of mine. I love learning about and creating these beautiful and empowering blends.
“Mommy, I think you are actually a doctor. A tea doctor. Cause whenever anyone is sick with anything you know what tea to make to fix them. Whatever is wrong- sore throat, coughing, puking, headaches! You really are the Tea Doctor!” said Leah, age 7, while she was helping me mix up a remedy in the kitchen for a friend who needed another batch of healing balm for a skin condition.
What happens when you model healing behavior? This. These four little sweeties organized their own tea party without any help from mom. They made the tea and hot chocolate. They got all dressed up. They set the table. They planned a game. They lit candles.
About a year ago, I mentioned to my kids that I was going to incorporate poetry tea time. I came home from work to my 10 year old having set this up. She was even dressed up. We each read a poem and then grabbed a handful of our magnetic poetry words and made silly little poems out of what we had. So fun! Tell us about your poetry tea time in the comments!
Today I took an hour To rearrange my things To think about my goals And to reignite my dreams I went from shelf to shelf To gaze upon each book As if to stop and ask myself To take a deeper look To think of who I want to be The skills I hope to learn To set imagination free To love, to grow to yearn. I found my favorite basket Full of other people’s things I dumped it out, and asked it To be the keeper of new dreams. I start fresh from empty And held it with one hand Without hesitation we Set off to make new plans. I found my favorite books again And promised to begin To treat them as my dear friends, And then I found some pens I found my father’s Bible Filled with his notes and lines I’ll take his thoughts once more to heart and try to make them mine. I have a little journal, for each and every child I fill the pages with my prayers Through times of tears and smiles I have some colored pencils Some photos and memories I’ll add a story book of course For my little girls to read. My basket is almost ready My heart and mind feel full Now I just need a cup of tea And a journal for my soul Today I took an hour To rearrange my things I’m ready now to grow and learn And to reignite my dreams
My girls were busy painting yesterday. Rachel, 19, did the one with the yellow background. Susie, 16, did the one with the green background. This is Susie’s first oil painting.
I’m in awe of their giftings, but it’s not just raw talent. The girls have devoted thousands of hours to growing in their artistic skills. Both decided to major in the fine arts while homeschooling. The process of finding who they were meant to be includes all of this.
I don’t know who you were made to be
But I will trust in the One who gave you to me
Because every child is a promise and a mystery
And every little smile shows us what is meant to be
As you play and dream and just have fun
I stand in wonder of the life that has begun
As you laugh and sing, jump and run
I stand in wonder of who you will become
Little hints of genius and artful poetry
You awaken promises and dance with mystery
I watch, I wait, I wonder, as I give you liberty
Just be you, as you become, who you were made to be.
Freedom, and patience, and grace always rising
Can I capture this moment, as I’m realizing
That you’re only mine for a matter of time
As your story unfolds and your light now shines
I’ll hold you close, I’ll hold your hand, and I’ll set you free
To be, everything that you were made to be
Because every child is a promise and a mystery
And every little smile shows us what is meant to be
I have been pondering the idea of living one’s dreams and realize that I have been so content everywhere, through everything because my dream is him. And every minute of every day, shared anywhere, through anything is fine with me, because he is with me, loving me, and being mine, and sharing it all, making life, thriving, surviving, struggling, hurting, traveling, serving, staying home or going to Rome–it really doesn’t matter. My dream is fulfilled every morning, waking up together anywhere, because we have this day, by God’s grace, together.
There is no better dream that the one I’m living. After almost 25 years of marriage, I’ve known him for 32 sweet years of my 46, and I can say our love is everything that God created love on this earth to be. The sweetest parable of the love of Jesus Christ with His Bride. Like Ephesians 5 says that marriage should be.
Morning mist and autumn skies
Summer passing in your eyes
I light a fire, and start the coffee brewing
I am up, and you sleep in,
I’ve kissed you twice
And will again
When the coffee’s hot and mine is sweet
With honey, sugar, caramel, chocolate or maple
It doesn’t matter to me, any kind of sweet will do, and I’d even take my coffee black
If I could quickly crawl
back in bed with you.
The children sleep, just eight are here,
The other seven are world travelers now,
Somehow that happened
as our life together graced this globe,
and we are here just staying warm and true
‘Cause every dream I ever had was found
In another morning coffee cup with you.
It means we have another day,
and it tells me of last night,
When you were snuggled by my heart
And I turned out the lights
And you were first to fall asleep
Asking me to bring another blanket
Where did it go,
when we kicked it off last spring?
I kept you warm, I always do,
it’s mutual, it’s loving you,
and living every day like it’s a dream
It isn’t what I thought or what it seems
But every morning coffee that we share
Reminds me that we made it through
the darkest nights, the blood, the hope, the tears,
the baby cries, the sleepless years,
the morning flights, the silly fights,
the love, the loss, the pain.
The seasons change.
We have seen the winter pass from island sand
and I’ve run barefoot through the snow holding your hand,