Parenting

The Inspiration Behind Dyslexia Games (Try For Free!)

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

Written by Ella Bundy from podcast content

When it comes to parenting, you never quite know what challenges you’ll face. For me, one of the biggest surprises came in the form of dyslexia. My oldest daughter, Anna, is the first one that we discovered is dyslexic, and it’s really an amazing story!

My first son, Isaac, was a natural when it came to letters and reading. He was already reading by age five, so I figured I’d use the same approach with Anna. But Anna was different – a free spirit who could never sit still. At four, she showed zero interest in reading, so I decided to step back and let her explore her own interests, like drawing and nature.

By the time Anna turned six, I felt it was time to focus on helping her learn to read – but it quickly became apparent that something wasn’t clicking. Phonics made no sense to her. She would get upset, she would get angry, she would cry. She would get one word correct one day, and then, the next day, she’d forget it. We tried again when she was seven, even bringing in a teacher, but the struggle continued.

As Anna approached eight and still couldn’t read, I started to worry. With five or six children at that point, my in-laws began suggesting that I might be too busy with the younger ones to teach her properly. It was heartbreaking when, at nine years old, Anna told me she didn’t care about learning to read because it was too hard for her to differentiate between letters. She declared she’d just be an artist and a mom instead.

I remember sitting there, stunned by her words. After a moment of reflection, I gently told her, “Anna, God wouldn’t have given us the Bible unless he was going to give us the ability to be able to read it.” It was then that I realized we needed a different approach. Anna was a real problem-solver, so I decided to try and outsmart her reluctance to read by creating something that turned reading into a problem-solving challenge.

Click here to find out what Sarah did next (and access some free resources)!

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Ripple Effect: How to Inspire Your Kids

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

A messy dining room, a dozen unfinished projects, soggy boots, muddy footprints, a broken telescope, a lost library book, a forgotten passion, a new hobby, and wonder in the eyes of a child.

This is the homeschool life.

Simple moments, like pebbles in quiet pond, the work you do today will ripple through generations.

Yes, what you do today will make a difference for years to come!

Homeschooling isn’t glamorous, and the day to day activities may seem a lot like pushing a rock up a mountain. But through it all I’ve seen how embracing the role of both mom and teacher has unseen power and influence that you wouldn’t believe though it’s right in front of you. And the work you do and example you set will influence your future generations.

Rewind–what’s your story? Who you are today has a lot to do with the path of past generations.

Here’s a glimpse into my story and the beautiful tapestry of learning, passion, and love that has woven itself through my family’s history.

My grandmother was a mother of four and a civil engineer—a woman ahead of her time. She somehow balanced her professional life with the demands of motherhood, and through her, I learned the value of determination and perseverance. She showed me how to think outside the box. When the world said, “You can’t do it all!” my grandma said, “Oh yes you can!” And when I’m facing a struggle I often hear her voice in my ear whispering, “Where there’s a will there’s a way!”

My mother, an artist, educational strategist, Bible scholar and homeschool mom, carried a quiet passion into our home. She made learning an adventure, and always helped us kids find the answers to even the most outlandish of questions. She had a way of filling our days with creativity and the belief that anything was possible, with Jesus. Her art wasn’t just on canvas—it was in the way she taught us to see beauty in the world, and faith in the One who is GOOD, WISE and ALL Powerful!

Because of her faith and example I will never forget that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”

And now, as a homeschooling mom of my own children, I see how this legacy continues to unfold.

Homeschooling has given me the chance to watch my own children discover their unique passions and explore them in their own time.

Not just growing in skills and knowledge, but in faith and determination!

(Click here to continue reading)

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Four Grade Levels in One Year: Former Foster Child Finds Success and Confidence with Dyslexia Games

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment
Dyslexia Games Series B

Written by Heather Vaught

Eight-year-old Kassidy faced significant challenges with reading and learning in the public school environment. Thanks to Dyslexia Games, she’s at grade level and bursting with newfound confidence.

“She was eight years old when she came into our family,” says Jill Cain, adoptive mother of former foster child Kassidy. “It was a night and day difference between her and my biological children. She didn’t know letter sounds, but she could read some sight words, which didn’t make sense to me. There were other things too; it was like a jumbled puzzle that didn’t add up.”

Jill homeschools her biological children, but because Kassidy was a foster child at the time, she had to be in public school. The school provided her with a personal aide for an hour each day, but it didn’t help. Jill suspected dyslexia, but the school didn’t agree and passed Kassidy to the next grade, even though she couldn’t read.

The Emotional Toll

“When it came time for school or homework, she was completely shut down. She would cross her arms and not even try,” remembers Jill. “And when she did try, it was tears.”

Jill finally convinced the school to test Kassidy, and a dyslexia diagnosis was confirmed. She also convinced the school to hold her back the next school year to give her more time to learn and catch up with her peers. In the meantime, Jill researched dyslexia resources online.

Making matters worse, Kassidy was bullied at school. “The experience in public school greatly affected her,” laments Jill. “Her self-confidence was so low and it affected our relationships. She was very isolated.”

Fighting for a Fair Chance

In Jill’s online research, she stumbled upon Dyslexia Games by Sarah Janisse Brown. It looked promising, but Jill wondered if it would help Kassidy learn. “I knew she was bright and capable as she excelled in so many other areas,” notes Jill. “But how do I even do this, if the public school can’t do it?”

She decided to shelve her doubts, but the next step was for Jill to get legal permission to homeschool Kassidy. “I went all the way to the top,” she says. It took time, but finally, they were granted permission, and their homeschooling journey began.

Jill initiated some “deschooling” time first to give Kassidy a chance to decompress and build confidence and security. Then, when she felt like Kassidy was ready, she started her on just one page a day in Dyslexia Games.

 “It really drained her,” notes Jill. “It was completely exhausting to do one page. There were days she just wanted to bail, and I was unsure whether this was the right way to proceed because we didn’t see any progress.”

Breakthrough! Four Grade Levels in One Year

Persistence paid off. After about three weeks, Jill observed the first signs of improvement. When she pointed out something that needed correction, Kassidy figured it out herself. “I thought, ‘Oh my gosh! This is working!’” Jill exclaims.

That was just the encouragement they both needed to keep going. As they progressed through the program, Kassidy experienced several more breakthrough moments in letter recognition, reading skills, and math skills.

“She had about a six-month jump in math in six weeks, that I just can’t explain except for Dyslexia Games,” Jill adds.

Jill turned the reins over to Kassidy, who began doing several pages a day. By the end of Dyslexia Games, Series B, she was reading at a 4th-grade level, representing a jump of four grade levels in one year.

Kassidy’s confidence soared. “We’re a read-aloud family,” says Jill. “We go around the room and read aloud. Before, she would refuse. Now she will read an entire chapter!”

Click here to keep reading about Kassidy’s story, including some tips from Jill!

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Turning Home Into the Epicenter of Human Life

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

My house is a place of creativity, innovation, technology, tradition, beauty, art, music, good food, and education. Fun comes first!
As the one who organizes and orchestrates the events and environment for over a dozen children and an adventurous husband, I’ve embraced an opportunity to throw out the common uses of the rooms in my house.
Most houses were designed to serve as a place of relaxation and comfort for hardworking couples, and school age children. As a homeschooling mom and home-based entrepreneur I began to rethink the way Americans use their homes.
I saw the impractical design of a home as an opportunity to transform the underutilized living spaces into something far more useful and exciting.

What It Looks Like
Our kitchen is now a “Science Kitchen” and a place for fermenting, cooking classes, experiments, a place for making body-care products, and for inventing new remedies and recipes. In the past our kitchen was a birth center, where a few of our kids were born!
Our living room is a lending library and music room where family and friends gather to create music together and to read, share and borrow books. Our living room is also a place where children can play with puzzles and puppets. Sometimes it becomes a church, where we gather daily for Bible stories, worship and prayer.
Our dining room serves the usual purpose of a space for family meals, often squeezing two dozen of us around three tables! But often we set up the space as an Art and Game cafe! Watercolors, beads, and rubber stamps await the touch and imagination of creative kids. We added a coffee bar with three espresso machines and a beautiful assortment of ceramic mugs and flavored syrups. During the week the tables are used as a school space for my five or six youngest kids.

The nook attached to the kitchen is a tearoom, with a DIY tea making station complete with about twenty healing blends of loose leaf teas made from herbs, flowers and spices which were grown in our garden, foraged from our woods and meadows, and imported from around the world. On our recent trips to Italy, Greece and Israel we searched for local blends to bring home and recreate.
The media room in the basement is a Preschool Paradise – even though our youngest child is nine. We fill my house with young moms who have little ones every chance we get.
Our office is a studio of creativity, design, publishing, and relaxation for myself and my team of collaborators who often drop in to work on projects with me.
Our garage is a charging station for two Teslas and a Cybertruck. It is also a gym for my kids who are into fitness and bodybuilding, and another part of the garage is a pottery and jewelry making studio. My husband has a workshop in yet another section of the garage.
Half of the old barn has been renovated into a DIY creative space for neighborhood homeschoolers, complete with a Lego city, shelves full of games, a small stage, and loads of art supplies. The other half of the barn serves as an art studio for our daughters who are studying oil painting and drawing. The space also includes the set for a podcast studio.

Keep reading by clicking here.

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Untangling from Mediocrity

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

Was there a time when you understood what really mattered, and then you looked at your life?

Was there a moment when you understood the truth about all the things that were irrelevant to the precious, meaningless in light of the meaningful, and futile when side by side with the greatest?

When your eyes were open to the purpose of your life, did you find your calling there?

And when you found your calling, did you listen?

And when you listened, did you surrender?

Did you learn to obey the voice calling you to surrender everything, break the chains, and unload the burdens so that you could be free to run your race? Or are you still entangled with the everyday pressures and demands of mediocrity?

Here’s some inspiration for those of you who need to get to that place of throwing off the entanglements.

If you are not free to run your race, it really is time to stop everything and change direction.

Look ten years down the road. If you change nothing, you will be exactly where you are now, just older and with more debt. Every day like the last, striving, struggling, climbing a ladder to nowhere, or digging some hole ever deeper.

But don’t mistake faithfulness in the little things for a meaningless life. If you are being faithful where you are, doing the hard daily work of your calling, you must persevere! For example, your faithfulness as a mother with young children. Your days are long, your work gives you little rest, but the influence of your sacrifice for others is precious, meaningful and great.

Perhaps you heard the call to missions, and you work in the dirt and spend your days feeding dozens of hungry children, cleaning bathrooms in an orphanage, serving in gardens, villages, churches, and schools–but there is nothing romantic about your missionary life. It is hard work and you have dirt under your fingernails. But you are storing up treasures in heaven, and adding many smiles to earth. This hard work may seem thankless, and it’s lonely at times, but your love brings hope, and that’s enough.

Maybe you are a dad, looking for another income stream, putting a roof over dozens of other homes so you can keep a roof over the one home that matters most. It’s hot. It’s long days. It’s thankless work, and you come home to smiling kids and a weary wife. It’s a season where nothing seems romantic; but in a world where so many families are falling apart, your family is sticking together. You look around and what might not seem like much, is actually everything. When it comes to the value of family, you are rich, proud, and looking forward to the day when He says, “Well done my good and faithful servant!”

Click here to continue reading.

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Super Simple Homeschooling

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

When it comes to homeschooling, I’ve always taken an approach centered on creativity and real-world preparation. I begin to teach my children when they’re very little that you can create something with what’s around you that people will pay money for.

Take one of my daughters, for example. She had a passion for dogs and horses her entire childhood. Instead of forcing her into a generalized curriculum, we built her education around her love for animals, helping her explore how she could turn that passion into a meaningful career.

Of course, many parents worry, “Well, what if my kid’s not interested in something?” To me, that’s not a roadblock — it’s an opportunity. I don’t focus only on a career. What it comes down to is your child’s innate calling. One of my sons needed to be the kind of person who does a diverse number of different things. He needed to try a variety of experiences and be encouraged to explore, and this helped his calling to surface!

I tell my kids this: “When you’re 13 or 14, if you’re ready to start a business, we’re going to invest in your business.” When I was young, kids used to be excited to be 16 and get a driver’s license. Now you see 13-year-olds excited for their first phone. In our family, instead of focusing on getting a phone, my kids look forward to that moment where we’re going to invest in their business. They know to think toward that and plan toward that leading up to their 13th birthday.

Instead of spending $100,000 for them to get a degree for who-knows-what, I’d rather invest early in something that’s meaningful to them. We start by investing one to three thousand dollars in their interests, and then we spend the next 4 or 5 years immersing them in the careers they want to have. They get one-on-one lessons, equipment, and a high-quality learning experience in their fields as teenagers. It’s about letting them major in the thing they want to do.

I really believe that as I encourage that child to follow that path and their calling, the doors are going to open for them. As that calling begins to develop, I look for an opportunity to find a mentor or a Masterclass to continue their knowledge beyond what I can provide. It’s not about following a rigid path but is instead about trusting the process and nurturing their growth along the way.

My approach isn’t about perfection or endless resources. There are a variety of ways to homeschool your children in a career-based fashion when limited budgets come into play. That’s where creativity comes in! In 2014, we were living with 9 kids, on $80 a day. Our home was in Croatia, and it had no running water. We had one electrical outlet, and we got our water out of a cistern. Even then, I found ways to support my kids’ dreams.

For example, my first son had dreams of becoming a chef. For his 13th birthday, we made an Amazon wish list for friends and family, and every item was related to his dream of being a chef. Within a year, he ended up being a personal chef for a woman with celiac disease. When given resources and support, I truly believe a child with a calling can achieve their wildest imaginings!

Another way I help support my children is by letting them be a part of the Fun-Schooling journals. When my kids are ready to jump into a career, I make a Fun-Schooling book with them that they can sell as a way to help fund their goals.

Ultimately, when parents worry about how their kids will make a career out of niche interests, I tell them to just trust. If your child loves dinosaurs, don’t worry that he loves dinosaurs. A lot of times we worry about how our child is going to make a career out of their interests, but it ends up coming down to the same thing. Just trust.

A Daughter is Your Legacy

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

When I was about 14 years old, I started to feel angry about what feminism was doing to society. I dreamed of being a mother—specifically, a mother to seven daughters. When people asked me what I wanted to become, I would proudly say, “A mom and an artist.” Their reactions were always dismissive, as though they couldn’t decide which dream was worse, so they trashed them both.

But I didn’t let that stop me. I wanted to create a magical home for my children. As a child, I dreamed of living in a big Victorian house filled with treasures and souvenirs from all over the world. I imagined traveling with my daughters, teaching them to be great artists. I pictured a house full of pets, a kitchen filled with the smells of food from every culture, and a life brimming with creativity and adventure.

I always envisioned my daughters as teenagers who were smart, confident, industrious, and, most importantly, deeply in love with each other as sisters. When people told me it would be a shame to bring children into such a dark world, I would reply with conviction, “My children will be the ones to light up the world.”

I fought for that dream. I read pioneer love stories and Amish romances that inspired me to make everything from scratch and to create beauty everywhere I could. My roots gave me strength—my mother was a successful artist, her mother was the first female civil engineer in California, and her mother was one of the founders of the Humane Society. My great-great-grandmother left Bohemia at 19 to build a life for herself in New York City. Many of my ancestors were outliers, and I’ve since learned that several of them probably had traits of Asperger’s. They taught me resilience, optimism, and how to think differently.

These women inspired me to dream big. Despite their accomplishments, they always put family first. My grandmother adored Ronald Reagan, and even though I come from a line of intelligent, powerful women, they held traditional values, believed in their daughters, and cherished family. I wanted to pass that on. A daughter is your legacy—and I wanted seven.

As I watched feminism take root in my generation, I saw it corrupt many of my friends. They believed they couldn’t live fulfilling lives if they were “slaves” to children. But I’m so thankful I never bought into those lies. By the time I was 35, I was living my dream—I had seven daughters! And I didn’t stop there.

Motherhood is such a beautiful, life-giving gift, and I believe we need to encourage our daughters to embrace their own unique gifts, talents, purpose, and the joy of being mothers too.

If you are dreaming of forging a legacy of strength in your daughter, this is a valuable tool:

Children with ADHD: Energy, Creativity, and Individuality

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

Children with ADHD often thrive when they have less sugar in their diet and more opportunities to engage in physical activities like climbing trees, running, and playing with building blocks. They also benefit from more B vitamins, fish oil, and fresh citrus fruits!

Giving them opportunities for physical activity, reducing screen time, and encouraging creative outlets like dancing or jumping can work wonders. In many cases, these small lifestyle adjustments lead to significant improvements!

Parenting a high-energy child can feel overwhelming at times. I know because I once faced this struggle. There was no way I could have sent my daughter, Anna, to school — her boundless energy and constant need for movement actually led to our family “kicked out” of two different churches. But instead of trying to mold her into someone else, I decided to let Anna be who she was!

I trusted that her energy and unique way of moving through the world, as well as God’s plan for her, would eventually lead her down a meaningful path.

Now that Anna is older, I’m amazed to see her funneling that incredible energy into purposeful, productive pursuits. I am so grateful I didn’t try to force her to fit into a conventional box. She was very difficult to manage between the ages of 2 and 10. But now that she’s grown, I can see the incredible woman she’s become — and it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t allowed Anna to be Anna.

In fact, if it weren’t for Anna, I wouldn’t have created Dyslexia Games or Thinking Tree—two programs that help children who learn differently. All of my books and homeschooling methods were born out of the experiences and challenges I faced raising and homeschooling a highly energetic and dyslexic child!

I often share Anna’s story because she’s the inspiration behind many of the educational tools you can use with your own children. She’s created many of the Fun-Schooling Journals you love!

Fun-schooling journals are designed to engage children’s passions while honoring their unique talents and interests. These journals allow for flexibility, and help children learn in a way that doesn’t require them to sit still for hours on end. Your child can take their journal to various parts of the house, or even outside for nature walks and study!

In the end, it’s all about creating an environment where learning is as dynamic and individualized as they are!

Parenting Through Trauma | The Bridge That Can’t Be Burned

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

I’m parenting a lot of teens! It’s going pretty well. Having teens with early childhood trauma is a whole different experience! But we are really focusing on a parenting style called “Therapeutic Parenting” and learning a lot from others who have been down this road before.

If you have a friend who is parenting a child that lost their biological parents and perhaps biological siblings, be compassionate and extra kind. They are doing the world’s hardest job, and probably feel like they are drowning in teen hormones, trauma behaviors, thrill seeking drive, and lack of self regulation.

We are out here doing the hard stuff to rescue the hurting kids out of terrible places and we need grace. And we need to be careful to stay connected, seek help, and also help the teens to build healthy relationships with mentors who can speak truth, hope and words of healing into their lives…

But if you are that mentor, learn this: when these kids become comfortable with an adult or mentor, it gets messy. Deep down they don’t feel safe when they are safe, they were hurt by the adults who should have been their protection.

Building lasting relationships is very hard. It’s a ton of work for the parents and mentors, because it’s almost impossible to build a healthy relationship with a person who is not honest about who they are and what they need.

Deep down they are afraid that you will abandon them too, and the relationship is “too good to last”. If they trust you, you might see a window into their secret hurting heart, and you might become traumatized by their trauma. Why? Because you want to be a healing place, and you are not feeling like you are successful. You feel like you’re seeing more harm than good.

You gotta understand it’s not your fault they are still hurting! They may even try to convince you that it’s your fault they are still hurting. If you really loved and accepted them they would be happy by now!!! Right? Wrong!

They may also try to convince you, as the mentor, that their adopted parents are just like the ones who abandoned them and left them hurt and hungry. Yes you look around and see a loving family and safe home surrounding the child. You feel confused.

When they start to let the light in, when they start to let you in… the dark memories rise to the top like bubbles that need to pop or drift away.

Their past memories can feel just like the present when they come to the surface!

It is in these moments they begin the process of confiding, sharing, opening up, and it can scare you – if you are not aware. They may want to share their memories of hurts that happened 12 years ago… as if it happened yesterday, and when they do they want to be heard, comforted and assured that it’s not their fault and it won’t happen again. They are safe in their new family.

One little girl told her teacher that she was sad because her mommy hurt her really bad. CPS took the child away from that loving family. It was very traumatic for the child. Later when they evaluated the initial conversation it turns out that the little girl was telling her teacher about the biological mom that she had recently lost before coming into foster care. Happens all the time!

If the child is pouring out their deep pain and hurts to you as the friend or mentor, how do you know they are safe? They seem to be in the depths of distress! They are obviously hurting right now!

How can a child act like this if they are safe and loved?

Simple. When a child with trauma feels safe enough to reveal past pain they have to face that pain and go through the process of grieving that loss and letting go of the fear associated with that loss, reliving the shame, pain and abandonment. Reliving the day the police took them away from mommy–and mommy is mommy no matter what she did or did not do.

No child is equipped to handle this process. And you probably are not equipped either. I know I’m often taken by surprise and have my own doubts and fears rising as they relive their sorrow. Confusion seems to rule in these moments.

They are exploding or imploding. Are they actually safe right now? Is this a child who just needs a second chance with a better family?

Think about the process the current family went through to adopt or foster. Think about what you believe to be true about your friends who are raising a child with trauma, think about all the interviews, home studies, house calls, and counseling that the adoptive parents have chosen to endure to love and rescue this child.

There are foster parents and adoptive parents who are in over their heads or have issues.

Thank them for their sacrifice.

Childhood hurts run deep, the scars don’t fully heal. So what should we do? I’m learning! I’m looking for tips. I’m happy to share what I’ve learned from gloppy floppy failing, buttery success and tiny glimmers of progress.

If you are successfully helping, befriending, sheltering, assisting, counseling or investing in a person with trauma of any age, there’s s good chance the whole relationship will crumble within one to three month and they will run.

Why? Too close for comfort. They feel better with new relationships that have not seen their struggles, ugly truths, past mistakes, past hurts, and scarred heart. Will you stick with them when the bomb explodes? Will you not be blown to bits, and then run for your life? Will you stand on the other side of the bridge they set on fire?

This is hard stuff friends, and maybe you don’t have what it takes. Lots of well meaning people adopt a child and a year or two later that little child’s face appears on the “Second Chance Adoption” website. Some of these kids are only four or five years old!!! But their adoptive parents couldn’t keep putting out the fires and couldn’t keep the knives out of reach, and couldn’t save the dog, and couldn’t imagine another trip to the ER or another well meaning neighbor’s call to CPS. Yeah. It’s harder than we all imagine. They are just kids! And all kids need is love and safety. No. They don’t. Give those parents grace too, even if they had to make the painful choice to give up the child to a family that is better equipped.

We are doing our best to stick around. When they are lighting fire to the bridges, we build new bridges. We find a better hiding place for weapons of mass disruption. We keep our little biological children close, and our adopted kids closer. And we keep our marriage strong.

We adopted five at once. The oldest took off the day she turned 18, and never bonded in the very short time with us. The other four are experiencing all the beauty of adolescence right now.

It actually takes two full time parents around the clock and other brave adults stepping in when we need a break. My husband and I are blessed to both work from home and involve our children in our jobs as part of their schooling, just to keep an eye on them. We read mountains of books, and fail anyway, because whoever wrote that book didn’t know what my kid would do.

Thankfully we kinda sorta have what it takes, and we are about to celebrate five years. Though one currently is going through the “you are not my real mom and dad” phase… again. And one has been sneaking, lying, stealing, and experimenting with common teenage behaviors… and one is best friends with every attractive stranger who reminds the child of the bio mom or bio sister they lost… we are trying and most of all we love them so dearly. They are ours. But right now, we are having a really good week! On vacation giving them 100%. They wish we were always on vacation, like when they were with their summer hosting families who gave them unrealistic expectations for adoption!

When it’s too hard for us, it’s not too hard for The Father above. When we don’t know what to say or do, we turn it over to Our Redeemer who sacrificed Himself that I could be adopted into the Family of God. And when it’s hard to bear their pain and see their hurts, and be around when the bridges go up in flames, I remember who I am. I am just like them. And Jesus is the Bridge that can’t be burned.

The Introvert and The Extrovert Within Me | How They BOTH Prepared Me For Stepping Into My Calling

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

I’ve always given the introvert in me a lot of attention and respect. She has asked for many things over the years, and when she doesn’t get her way she has a fit, her brain melts, her attitude is rotten, she is easily distracted, noisy, and becomes a nuisance. For years she made the rules for example, she warned me: “If you participate in two public events in a row, you better give me two days of rest, research, relaxation, time for hobbies, long quiet times, quiet walks, and opportunities for conversation without conflict or drama.”

She would boss the extrovert in me around, and make her sit quietly with art supplies and large stacks of books by a sunny window with beautiful music playing in the background, interrupted only by well behaved and precious children, who just want to cuddle up with books and kittens.

The introvert in me is a strong woman who loves to bring order out of chaos, and she’s great at delegating all the busywork to everyone else. She’s also the girl that orders salads and says no to cheesecake. She doesn’t like driving much, and feels her best when she’s by a warm fire crocheting afghans and listening to Ted Talks. She sees what the world should be, and constantly ponders how to make it so. She’s patient and wants to be well prepared for whatever comes her way, seeking to control whatever comes her way, creating the future she envisions, at the heart of her home, welcoming others in, but hesitant to venture out. She is pained by the disorder and opts for her comfort zone where she dreams up alternative worlds.

She’s gone. Did she starved to death a couple weeks ago? Maybe she hibernated and I haven’t heard from her since. She’s no longer fighting for her quiet, space, focus and thinking time. What happened to her? Six weeks ago I answered my life’s calling and stepped out of my comfort zone, and she simply didn’t come with me.

Maybe she just couldn’t stand the risk taking, all the people, the excitement, the collaboration, the long hours on the road, the purposeful yet hard work. She remains silent as the active and busy extrovert who has such a strong sense of urgency and calling, takes a stand. Why is she silent? She used to fight to pour over her books or crochet endless blankets so she could keep her hands busy, busy, busy, while she thinks, thinks and thinks.

The introvert had so many things to study, research and think about that she was driven to carve out that individual time for personal growth and vision development. But something happened. There was a calling and the extrovert answered it. She got up an incredible amount of courage to say yes to a dream she had been pushing down year after year. The extrovert stuck the sourdough starter in the fridge and got to work, like the sky was falling and she had to help prop it up.

So, the extrovert pops awake at 6am and dives into the day, she has a calendar, she makes her own coffee, and she still makes time for conversations with the King of Kings, who called her. She is focused on His calling and that calling isn’t one she can pursue from the comfort of home. She no longer fears failure, risk, loss, or the unknown. She just feels pulled into the hope of a calling. The one the introvert had been researching all these years.

She has boundless energy and suddenly looks forward to connecting with her team for a couple hours each morning, and then she smiles and laughs with the tribe of kids who are happily sleeping in on weekdays and starting late on breakfast, school, work and chores. She is just as good at delegating as the introvert, but has total different goals.

The introvert was delegating so many things just to free herself up to make time for reflection, relaxation and research. The extrovert delegates too, but to support her purpose and vision in doing the work to reach the world. The extrovert isn’t as addicted to comfy clothing, and cares a little more about her style, she doesn’t mind driving, in fact last week she took me on a five city tour, and hosted a birthday party after arriving home. The extrovert doesn’t just delegate to go off alone, she brings her family with her into the calling, and they thrive.

The extrovert appreciates the world the introvert so thoughtfully created, but she’s doing a terrible job keeping it up to the same standards. Yet she is so productive that she’s finding ways to outsource the things she has no time for. The extrovert is courageous, she loves getting to the next place on time without rushing the moment. She is focusing on one thing at a time, she is people centered, and awake, and aware of everything but the voice of the introvert who once ruled her world.

The extrovert didn’t even notice the introvert was gone, until the weekend came and there was a day with nothing on the schedule.

She felt unsatisfied for a moment, not knowing what to do. She looked at the yarn basket, the bookshelf, and the pile of clothing waiting to be folded up and put away; she thought about her sourdough starter. And then she ordered Chinese food, rounded up a ton of her kids and had lunch. After that she told the kids to clean their rooms and round up the livestock, that got out of their pasture. She no longer felt the need to relax, reflect and research by the fire.

And she paused, took a drive, and wondered how she ever overcame the pull of the introvert to protect four days of the week for reading, cooking, baking, studying, thinking, creating and crocheting? She stopped to think about it.

For the past 30 years the introvert with her insatiable thirst for focus and thought has been the dominant voice in the relationship, and now she has nothing to say, she’s not pitching a fit.

And now she speaks, and so softly she says “I worked all these years, building this platform, protecting your time, giving you focus so that you could study, learn, prepare and research while nurturing your family to maturity. I fought to keep you undistracted by all the opportunities out there so you could build up your character and knowledge. I knew your calling, and I knew that one day you would have to step outside your comfort zone to pursue it. I was determined to discipline you so that you would not lose your focus. You had a calling so great that that a foundation had to be built within the framework of a quiet life. Now that I have built this firm foundation all these years, I gracefully step aside and yield to my extrovert who has what it takes to bring this calling and vision into the world. And because this introvert knows how to be still, be quiet, and give way, you can step into the calling for which you were prepared.”