motherhood

How to Fight Well with Your Kids

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

This content originated from David Morris over on X

Parenting is hard. Parents have to choose their battles. Here are 8 fights worth picking with your kids:

The Reading Fight:

Make your kids read. Because reading is tied to everything from cognitive development to the ability to focus.

The Outside Fight:

Make your kids go outside. The natural world teaches us things. Plus, outside there’s sunshine, fresh air, and exercise waiting for them. Most importantly, nature is full of things in short supply in our world: Discovery, wonder, peace, joy.

The Work Fight:

Make your kids work. I’m saddened by how many parents don’t require their kids to lift a finger at home. There are priceless life principles you can only learn with a mop in your hand. Let sweat be their teacher.

The Meal Fight:

Make your kids eat as a family. Our lives are a blur of incessant activity. Meals together are a physical pause to recover a truth so easily sacrificed at the altar of busyness. Nothing’s more important than family.

The Boredom Fight:

Make your kids live with boredom. Don’t show a DVD on each car ride. Kids need unscheduled time. And, odd as it sounds, boredom is a skill. It’s hard as a parent to deal with the assault of boredom complaints. But if you give in and fill up their time with external stimuli, you’ll raise an activity addict. Make them learn how to be.

The “Me First” Fight:

Make your kids go last. Not every time for everything. But enough to remember that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Take the smallest piece. Give up the remote. Do someone else’s chores. Get their least favorite choice. They won’t like it, but they need it.

The Awkward Conversation Fight:

Make your kids have uncomfortable conversations with you. Sex, dating, body image, values…Your kids will roll their eyes and resist. You will stumble and stutter. They need and want your perspective, lessons learned, and wisdom.

The Limitation Fight:

Learning to live within limits is a valuable life skill. In fact, many adult problems arise from an inability to accept them. Screen time limits, dietary limits, activity limits, and schedule limits are all good.

As a parent, you have to pick your battles. They’re not easy, but they’re worth the fight.

Click here for the full discussion.

A Daughter is Your Legacy

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

When I was about 14 years old, I started to feel angry about what feminism was doing to society. I dreamed of being a mother—specifically, a mother to seven daughters. When people asked me what I wanted to become, I would proudly say, “A mom and an artist.” Their reactions were always dismissive, as though they couldn’t decide which dream was worse, so they trashed them both.

But I didn’t let that stop me. I wanted to create a magical home for my children. As a child, I dreamed of living in a big Victorian house filled with treasures and souvenirs from all over the world. I imagined traveling with my daughters, teaching them to be great artists. I pictured a house full of pets, a kitchen filled with the smells of food from every culture, and a life brimming with creativity and adventure.

I always envisioned my daughters as teenagers who were smart, confident, industrious, and, most importantly, deeply in love with each other as sisters. When people told me it would be a shame to bring children into such a dark world, I would reply with conviction, “My children will be the ones to light up the world.”

I fought for that dream. I read pioneer love stories and Amish romances that inspired me to make everything from scratch and to create beauty everywhere I could. My roots gave me strength—my mother was a successful artist, her mother was the first female civil engineer in California, and her mother was one of the founders of the Humane Society. My great-great-grandmother left Bohemia at 19 to build a life for herself in New York City. Many of my ancestors were outliers, and I’ve since learned that several of them probably had traits of Asperger’s. They taught me resilience, optimism, and how to think differently.

These women inspired me to dream big. Despite their accomplishments, they always put family first. My grandmother adored Ronald Reagan, and even though I come from a line of intelligent, powerful women, they held traditional values, believed in their daughters, and cherished family. I wanted to pass that on. A daughter is your legacy—and I wanted seven.

As I watched feminism take root in my generation, I saw it corrupt many of my friends. They believed they couldn’t live fulfilling lives if they were “slaves” to children. But I’m so thankful I never bought into those lies. By the time I was 35, I was living my dream—I had seven daughters! And I didn’t stop there.

Motherhood is such a beautiful, life-giving gift, and I believe we need to encourage our daughters to embrace their own unique gifts, talents, purpose, and the joy of being mothers too.

If you are dreaming of forging a legacy of strength in your daughter, this is a valuable tool:

One More Story

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

I hear the whispers in the late night silence
I hear the giggles in the cool spring air
It’s been an hour since we said good night
It’s been an hour since the kiss and prayer

The day is over
It’s not coming back again.
Tonight’s a night
that has never been.
So let them laugh and stay up late
One more story, one more song, one more page

It wasn’t perfect, it was barely good
They were just doing what they could
They were helping in their childish way
And in a moment they were lost in play

They’ll learn to help
It just takes time
Little ones
have so much on their minds
Watch them laugh and run and play
they’ll need a bath later today.
One more story, one more song, one more page

Never silence, not a quiet moment
Always questions bouncing off the walls
If I had answers I would be a genius
Somehow they think I must know it all

Just a moment and I’ll finish sweeping
Just a moment and I’ll find that shoe
another pancake, turning, burning smoking
Another inch, another question, maybe two

The day is new
Smiling at me again
This is a moment
that has never been
So let them laugh and run and play
One more story, one more song, one more page

Intentional Motherhood: The Fulfillment

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

Children are the fulfillment of my dream because I have faith that we are raising them to be voices of hope in this crazy world. Sometimes we need courage to trust that we don’t have to give our children the same lifestyle our parents gave us. We can look at what our parents did wrong and be different. My husband grew up with a dad who overcame addictions and was married three times. My husband came from a broken home, and through his trauma he decided to fight for the opposite, by the grace of God. I know in my family the calling is very unique in these modern times. Very few will have what it takes to raise 15 kids, but if it’s your dream, it is possible! If God calls you to, have a big family!

Josh and I love raising children. We have built a really sweet life and joyful marriage. What we have is rare, and people like us should be raising kids, lots of them! And people like us should be the ones adopting! If you have a heart for children don’t be afraid to follow the calling and find ways to fill your life with children who need love, hope and healing. Children are the greatest investment we could ever make in this world. They have the potential to lead this world out of darkness and into the light! But not if the Christians raise their few children to shun the idea of nurturing the future generations, because it’s so stressful or whatever.

Mothers! Show your children what a treasure they are to you! Speak joy! Let them see your delight. My children know that I think they are gifts to planet Earth! Why are we kinda different?

Josh and I read the Bible together (through the Bible in a year) when we were teens. We met when we were 13 and 14. We had a calling on our lives to surrender everything for the high calling of the gospel! We saw over and over that children are called a gift, an honor, and joy. We saw the darkness of the world, growing darker. We felt like we were nearing the end times and had a call upon our marriage to raise up children who would be well prepared to go out into the darkness to be a light for the gospel. We wanted to raise them without fear of evil, but confidence in the power of God to rescue, love, heal, and bring forgiveness to the hurting.

We didn’t just want to raise up kids that would be missionaries and Sunday school teachers or worship leaders – like working in the church is the only Christian calling. We wanted to raise them to be leaders in the Arts, in science, in politics, in social media, in education, entertainment, music, business, and in the gifting of the Holy Spirit to shine like stars in the darkness and to show the way of love, kindness and peace where there is pain.

We considered each of the children to have a unique and precious calling, talent set, and unique individuality that would need to be respected. Each child would grow up to have something to bring into the world to show the glory of the Creator. This is not a common passion I see in very many couples planning their families. But we do know quite a few other families doing the same. And we are eager to teach others from what we have discovered. But unfortunately you just don’t hear it taught in church that it is a high calling and worthy sacrifice to raise up children intentionally for the Kingdom.

And as a teen I sought to choose a husband specifically for his heart for children, Jesus and the Arts. I had a wish list. I knew I wanted a big family, so I didn’t just fall in love with some random cutie–I chose my husband because I saw great qualities of a future father, and I saw his heart for Jesus and his unique pursuits in the Arts and science. I wasn’t lucky, I was intentional. I wasn’t lucky, I was blessed! I wasn’t lucky, I worked hard! I wasn’t lucky, I believed God’s words!

What vision are you passing along to the next generation? Your life is a testimony and witness to our youth. If they become like you, if they listen to you, if they catch your vision — will they bring light into this darkness?

Intentional Motherhood: The Vision

/ Sarah Janisse Brown / Leave a comment

At church this evening my teen daughters were learning about the calling of Mary to bring Jesus into the world. In the discussion after the Bible Study my daughters learned that most of the other girls in their group think that motherhood is a poor choice, not worth the sacrifice to the woman’s body, and having a family is an unrealistic goal in this dark and miserable world.

My daughters tried to share a different perspective but informed about “the real world”. Nothing new here. When I was a teen who wanted to be a “stay at home mom” and an artist with a home-based business, my friends made fun of me, and said motherhood is a waste and it’s stupid to bring children into this horrible world. I longed to have children who would make this world more beautiful.

Having children was no sacrifice at all. It can be a lot of work at times; but from my perspective, giving life was the fulfillment of a beautiful dream. Having each child was like receiving a beautiful chest full of precious treasure every time. After our ten children were born (and for the first time ever our income was more than we needed to survive), we answered the call to adopt five more children. I was not an overwhelmed unhappy mother. I thought of the calling as the biggest privilege!

Adoption wasn’t easy, but after all the gifts God has given me, He was so generous to trust me with even more souls to care for. And though it was really hard, I see such beautiful fruit! These girls in our community have learned a lot in school and social media about life goals. From the outside you see the ideal, picture-perfect suburban life that their parents worked very hard to give them. Others come from broken homes, though they live in picture- perfect neighborhoods. They complain of the darkness and evil in the world, yet live in one of the most prosperous and safe places on this rocky earth! They have the best the world has to offer, and they are stressed and discouraged about the future. (Click here to continue reading.)

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