Two Are Better Than One

Companionship is such a precious gift. Friendship, family, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, husband and wife.

We need others.

I was just reading the words of Solomon today and thinking about how damaging it can be for so many young adults who are sent off alone to college, and they end up becoming so lost, distant from all familiar connections at a time when they are so highly influenced.

And we wonder why our child struggles so deeply with truth, identity, connection and boundaries.

I don’t think that humans were designed to be severed from their families and communities like this.

Of course most people in our culture think this is somehow healthy and right and it builds up independence. But sometimes the drive for independence is a one way ticket down Lonely Street.

The words of Solomon:

There is one who is alone,

without companion son nor brother.

Yet there is no end to all his labors.

Nor is his eye satisfied with riches.

But he never asks ‘For whom do I toil and deprive myself of good?’

This also is vanity and a grave misfortune.

Two are better than one,

Because they have a good reward for their labor.

For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls,

For he has no one to help him up.

Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm, But how can one be warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.

And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:8-12

I’m so thankful that my daughters have each other and have close friends that they adventure with, work with, go on missions with and serve with.

I’m so thankful that my son and his sweet wife Rita have been companions and have been together when most young adults do things like college, first jobs, immigration, missions and travel alone. I love that they have each other.

I’m so thankful that I lived near Josh all through his college years, his parents asked us to wait until after college to get married, so I found a way to move to a town near his school so we could spend time together and be there for each other, and go to the same church.

I’m so thankful that Anna invited me to be her companion on her trip to Israel. She felt called to go fast and pray in the Judean Desert before going back to Dallas with Rachel to launch His Story The Musical. Today we are learning Jerusalem and going to the place where Jesus spent 40 days fasting.

In times we must go out alone, Jesus is our companion if we receive Him. In times we are called to go alone God brings us companions along the way. But if you are going alone, or if you are sending your child out alone- beware- send them because it’s a calling or a mission and they have been prepared to be cut off from everyone and everything familiar. Don’t just send them out alone because that’s what is normal in our society. Just because it’s normal it doesn’t mean it’s right, good, healthy, natural or in your child’s best interest.

Don’t send them out alone because it’s the default, or because society obligates you to do so. Is it what is really best?

My daughter Anna waited until Rachel turned 18 before she moved out at 21, so she and her sister could go together. They went to Mexico, Dallas, New York and came back to Indiana for a while. Then Rachel came home for 6 months while Anna traveled with other sisters and friends. Esther moved to Oahu, and lives with a friend who is a wonderful companion, like a sister, so blessed. And she visits us multiple times each year.

I just want to encourage the parents who have a heart to set their child on a path unlike the default. I know that a lot of people agree with the idea of launching their kids early into far off places alone, and maybe that’s your child’s calling. Just pray that companionship is part of their story too. Loneliness leads to all kinds of dark places and it’s a big reason for depression, and most young adults in our culture struggle with depression. Does anyone ask why?

We need companions, sisters, brothers, best friends, spouses, mothers and fathers, cousins and partners. Not phones. Phones can never take the place of people.

Be a companion. Be the one who lifts up another when they fall. Be the one who keeps the other warm. Be the one who labors for others. Be the one who enjoys life’s rewards with others. Be that person who loves, forgives, heals, encourages and works hard to make someone else’s life rich and full.

Be the one who is that friend!

And if you want to be sure that your children are never lonely – have more kids, have them close together, adopt a sibling group, or a couple orphans around the same age who have no one.

Filling your life with children is only hard for a short time, but the blessings are endless.

Meet the Brown Family!

Josh and Sarah met at 13 & 14. Sarah fell in love instantly, Josh figured out that she was his destiny a few years later.

Sarah was an Unschooler and Josh was an over achiever in a public school, but spent all his spare time studying aviation and technology. He considers himself a weekend “unschooler”. Date nights for Josh and Sarah often included an airplane and a dinner in a neighboring state!

After high school Sarah moved to Hungary, Austria and Russia. Josh went to Embry Riddle Aeronautical University to study his passion.

They had a long distance relationship for most of the seven years before getting married at ages 20 & 21. They spent their first three months of marriage backpacking in Europe. Ten months after the wedding Isaac was born and the parenting experiment began.

Here is Isaac’s YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@isaacbrownmedia

Fourteen months later Anna joined the party, and started throwing monkey wrenches into every ordinary occasion. At age 8 her parents found out she had Dyslexia and that’s when Sarah created DyslexiaGames.com – Anna is a “Super Creator” Here’s Anna’s latest project, scroll down for her “Red Chair Interview: HisStoryTheMusical.com

Fourteen months later Estera graced the world with her presence, and has been lighting up the lives around her ever since. Here’s Esther’s instagram account. She’s 21 now, a photographer living in Hawaii: https://instagram.com/estherscanon

Eighteen months passed before the “Negotiator” came on the scene. At first it was assumed she would become a political figure or criminal defense attorney. Nope. Rachel is an artist and figure skater. Check out her art and adventures: https://instagram.com/rach.charity.brown

Almost two years passed before Naomi joined the Girl Gang. Her first word was probably “Horse” her first phrase was probably “I want a puppy”. She now runs a dog hotel, dog accessories shop, and has a few horses.

Welcome to Seeking Hound Dog Shop: https://instagram.com/seekinghoundco

Another little sister filled the world with wonder, and made her genius status obvious to all by age three. A mastermind, world traveler and deep thinker who hides behind paint and canvas. She recently became the family’s chef. At age 16 she occasionally posts a thing or two on Instagram. Looks like she has a store on Instagram: https://instagram.com/autumns.brush

Lovely Laura arrived with the spring flowers and became a very naughty little instigator as soon as she could walk and talk. She was one of those kids who preferred animals over people until about age 12. She’s the expert on endangered species and tropical birds. Today she has more “best friends” than we can count, suddenly a “people person” with a big heart. She’s not on Instagram yet. Maybe she will be when she’s 16. But here are all her books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=laura%20janisse%20brown…

Laura loves acting and plays Alexander Hamilton in this skit: https://youtu.be/_MMIN6A0dVE

Joe came next. A ten pound baby brother who wanted to be a YouTuber at age 3. So he started YouTubing as “The Littlest Blogger” in preschool. If you met Joe at age four he would have been wearing a suit, holding a calculator. He would tell you that he’s a scientist and Math-Man. He’s 13 now. He added many videos to my channel. Here’s one of his early videos about HOW to TEACH MATH to kids: https://youtu.be/xJBLH9aE6-8

Ember was her daddy’s idea. After Joe turned two Josh started wishing for another baby. Little Ember Rose was born in Italy in 2012. She is a lover of the great outdoors, a naturalist, always researching the plants and animals in her environment.

Leah was God’s idea. Surprise! The best gift that could ever be given. She came along two years later. It was during the last couple months of her pregnancy that Sarah decided it would be a good time to take a break from homeschooling. At age 39 Sarah just wanted to take time to treasure her youngest baby. She had a feeling Leah might be her last baby. So Sarah created a collection of Homeschooling Curriculum Journals that would provide six weeks to a full semester of homeschooling prompts, with minimal effort from mom. Fun-Schooling journals have been rolling out ever since. And Leah, now 8, is the family’s storyteller and comedian.

When Leah was six weeks old the whole family moved to Ukraine. It was while volunteering at a local orphanage that the family met a sibling group and felt a calling to adopt. A year and a half later five more kids joined the Brown Tribe, and Isaac, the oldest son, now 19, was married to Rita, his Ukrainian sweetheart.

The adopted children were ages 6 to 16. They didn’t speak English, but quickly learned. The oldest sister moved back to Ukraine the day she turned 18, after assuring us from day one of the adoption that returning to her village was her dream. The four younger children, Lilly, Alex, Abby and Christina bonded beautifully with their new siblings, and have been taking their time adjusting to the idea of having parents.

Eventually Chrissy learned to read English and discovered her passion for books, especially historical fiction and all things Amish, and Hobby #2, volley ball.

Abigail developed a love for crafting, pottery and jewelry making.

Alex picked up a guitar, a skateboard, and a camera and developed a passion for extreme sports.

Lilly is simply everyone’s best friend, engaging in anything and everything her big sisters are doing.

The family loves to free-range around the planet. The world is their classroom. It’s not uncommon for Brown teens to hop on a plane to go after adventure, a mission or a dream overseas- with or without parents or siblings.

The family now lives on 22 acres in Indiana and have turned the property into a homeschooling campus where each member of the family is free to craft a dream, start a business, tap a maple tree, sharpen a skill, plant a garden, raise a critter, spark a romance, toss a ball, or follow a butterfly.

A House Built on the Rock

I’m so thankful for my husband. He is such an incredible father and loving husband. I’m just so blessed to share each day of our lives through everything. When we were 15 and 16 we choose our life verse, and in all the years that followed we lived out the truth of it…

I love being his wife. I love being a woman. I love being a mother. I am so thankful for my amazing body that carried ten children to term and nurtured them so beautifully.

I’m so thankful for how my husband and I have a completed each other and how we have experienced the true miracle of creating a family. I love his selflessness, and how he gives and gives and gives like it is no sacrifice because his heart and mind are set on eternity.

He is such a giver but as he longs to be more and more like Jesus. He always feels like there is so much more work God has to do in him. I love watching him love our family. I love how he can make wise and logical choices when I’m all emotional and reactive! I love how he trusts my intuition and my vision for our calling. I love how we are a team.

A lot of people feel incomplete, confused, like something is missing. I think it’s that feeling God noticed when he put Adam in the garden of Eden. In all of perfect creation Adam was incomplete. He needed a bride, because in himself he was lacking all the glory of the woman God was about to create. Adam was not complete in himself. Not even with God walking with him in the garden.

God didn’t say, “Oops! I made him incomplete–I’d better add female qualities to his nature so he will be finished.” No, God made a woman to be his perfect fit. He said it is not good for a man to be alone. How kind of God!! And what a beautiful creation God made in his work of art called woman.

As I wake up in my husband’s arms there is a feeling of being perfectly matched. A perfect fit. A completion. We are a work of art. We are not perfect, but we are perfectly designed by our wonderful creator to be one. And from our unity we build a family that has a strong foundation of love, and all the blessings that we both bring together. We are so different–we have different strengths and weaknesses–and I find that where I am weak he has strength and when he is lacking, I am gifted.

Sometimes I wonder how it’s even possible to have such a beautiful unity in this crazy world, yet we do. I think it has a lot to do with my husband’s dedication to praying with me and reading the Bible to me every night before we fall asleep. When we were teens he would always pray for me and read the Bible to me before saying goodbye. It was the sweetest day when we wore our wedding rings and didn’t have to say goodbye, and he began our marriage from the very first night by praying over me and speaking God’s words from the open Bible in his hands.

It will be 25 years in May 2023, and what a beautiful 25 years we have had! I’m so thankful that from our childhood we both pursued the heart of God and were willing to choose to live by faith, not giving in to the lies, confusion or voices of culture. We build this house on the ROCK. Unlike the culture this Rock never changes.

I pray my children know the same joy we know. Most of all I pray all my children surrender to the plans of God declared in His word. May they not be swayed by the voice of the culture, but alert to the voice of the Savior.

Jesus promises that He will bless those who trust and obey and build their lives in His Words.

I pray that they will live life in anticipation of eternity.

I pray that they will intimately know Him, who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think!

Oh the mighty power that is at work in us! Without His power we would never know this beautiful gift of unity, harmony and the grace of life together.

Jesus said everyone who hears His words and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. Then He went on to say everyone who hears His words and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand (Matthew 7:24-26).

If you can’t figure out why your life is a mess, perhaps you are building your life of the sands of cultural confusion instead of the Rock of Jesus. Hear His Words. Put them to practice. It’s never too late to teach the next generation to build on the rock.

Intentional Motherhood: The Fulfillment

Children are the fulfillment of my dream because I have faith that we are raising them to be voices of hope in this crazy world. Sometimes we need courage to trust that we don’t have to give our children the same lifestyle our parents gave us. We can look at what our parents did wrong and be different. My husband grew up with a dad who overcame addictions and was married three times. My husband came from a broken home, and through his trauma he decided to fight for the opposite, by the grace of God. I know in my family the calling is very unique in these modern times. Very few will have what it takes to raise 15 kids, but if it’s your dream, it is possible! If God calls you to, have a big family!

Josh and I love raising children. We have built a really sweet life and joyful marriage. What we have is rare, and people like us should be raising kids, lots of them! And people like us should be the ones adopting! If you have a heart for children don’t be afraid to follow the calling and find ways to fill your life with children who need love, hope and healing. Children are the greatest investment we could ever make in this world. They have the potential to lead this world out of darkness and into the light! But not if the Christians raise their few children to shun the idea of nurturing the future generations, because it’s so stressful or whatever.

Mothers! Show your children what a treasure they are to you! Speak joy! Let them see your delight. My children know that I think they are gifts to planet Earth! Why are we kinda different?

Josh and I read the Bible together (through the Bible in a year) when we were teens. We met when we were 13 and 14. We had a calling on our lives to surrender everything for the high calling of the gospel! We saw over and over that children are called a gift, an honor, and joy. We saw the darkness of the world, growing darker. We felt like we were nearing the end times and had a call upon our marriage to raise up children who would be well prepared to go out into the darkness to be a light for the gospel. We wanted to raise them without fear of evil, but confidence in the power of God to rescue, love, heal, and bring forgiveness to the hurting.

We didn’t just want to raise up kids that would be missionaries and Sunday school teachers or worship leaders – like working in the church is the only Christian calling. We wanted to raise them to be leaders in the Arts, in science, in politics, in social media, in education, entertainment, music, business, and in the gifting of the Holy Spirit to shine like stars in the darkness and to show the way of love, kindness and peace where there is pain.

We considered each of the children to have a unique and precious calling, talent set, and unique individuality that would need to be respected. Each child would grow up to have something to bring into the world to show the glory of the Creator. This is not a common passion I see in very many couples planning their families. But we do know quite a few other families doing the same. And we are eager to teach others from what we have discovered. But unfortunately you just don’t hear it taught in church that it is a high calling and worthy sacrifice to raise up children intentionally for the Kingdom.

And as a teen I sought to choose a husband specifically for his heart for children, Jesus and the Arts. I had a wish list. I knew I wanted a big family, so I didn’t just fall in love with some random cutie–I chose my husband because I saw great qualities of a future father, and I saw his heart for Jesus and his unique pursuits in the Arts and science. I wasn’t lucky, I was intentional. I wasn’t lucky, I was blessed! I wasn’t lucky, I worked hard! I wasn’t lucky, I believed God’s words!

What vision are you passing along to the next generation? Your life is a testimony and witness to our youth. If they become like you, if they listen to you, if they catch your vision — will they bring light into this darkness?

Intentional Motherhood: The Vision

At church this evening my teen daughters were learning about the calling of Mary to bring Jesus into the world. In the discussion after the Bible Study my daughters learned that most of the other girls in their group think that motherhood is a poor choice, not worth the sacrifice to the woman’s body, and having a family is an unrealistic goal in this dark and miserable world.

My daughters tried to share a different perspective but informed about “the real world”. Nothing new here. When I was a teen who wanted to be a “stay at home mom” and an artist with a home-based business, my friends made fun of me, and said motherhood is a waste and it’s stupid to bring children into this horrible world. I longed to have children who would make this world more beautiful.

Having children was no sacrifice at all. It can be a lot of work at times; but from my perspective, giving life was the fulfillment of a beautiful dream. Having each child was like receiving a beautiful chest full of precious treasure every time. After our ten children were born (and for the first time ever our income was more than we needed to survive), we answered the call to adopt five more children. I was not an overwhelmed unhappy mother. I thought of the calling as the biggest privilege!

Adoption wasn’t easy, but after all the gifts God has given me, He was so generous to trust me with even more souls to care for. And though it was really hard, I see such beautiful fruit! These girls in our community have learned a lot in school and social media about life goals. From the outside you see the ideal, picture-perfect suburban life that their parents worked very hard to give them. Others come from broken homes, though they live in picture- perfect neighborhoods. They complain of the darkness and evil in the world, yet live in one of the most prosperous and safe places on this rocky earth! They have the best the world has to offer, and they are stressed and discouraged about the future. (Click here to continue reading.)

Best Books for Big Families

Do you have three or more children? Congratulations. You are outnumbered! 
Here are some of the best books for busy moms! Be inspired with PRACTICAL ideas on how to manage a home full of children, and ENJOY IT! These books were chosen because they all give you tips and fun ideas about how to love your kids, without losing your mind! All written by experienced parents, who consider every child a blessing! 

1. Back to Basics: Raising Self-Sufficient Children
http://www.amazon.com/Back-Basics-Raising-Self-Sufficient-Children-ebook/dp/B003XVYHES

2. Windows to Our World: Sarah’s Journal
Growing Up, Crossing Oceans, Finding Love 
& Giving Life to 10 Children  
Kindle:www.amazon.com/Windows-Our-World-Crossing-Children-ebook/dp/B00PBDOTLM
Paperback:www.amazon.com/Windows-Our-World-Crossing-Children/dp/1502510111

3. More Hours in My Day
http://www.amazon.com/More-Hours-Day-Emilie-Barnes-ebook/dp/B005WWN6HU

4. The 5 Love Languages of Children 
http://www.amazon.com/5-Love-Languages-Children/dp/0802403476

5. Loving Our Kids On Purpose: Making A Heart-To-Heart Connection
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Kids-Purpose-Heart—Heart/dp/0768427398

6. A Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family
http://www.amazon.com/Womans-Guide-Raising-Large-Family/dp/1423604512

Make this stack of books YOUR Christmas Wish List!  Just share this blog post with your husband, mom, sisters and friends! 

Have you read any of these books yet?  Write a review here for any of them! 

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