Why do little children do the opposite of what you say? Why do preschoolers reject new foods and green leafy foods? Why do toddlers refuse to share? Why do preschoolers always want what the other child has? Why do preschoolers fight bedtime? How can I help my child to have a good attitude when cleaning up? What can I do to help my child to behave, listen and obey?
A little over a decade ago, a friend of mine asked me to make a video about “Toddler and Preschool Behavior Problems” for her MOPS group. Here it is, featuring a tiny Ember Brown:
I want the share inspiration and encouragement that is helping me.
Here’s a talk from Nancy Campbell at Above Rubies, that explains the hormone Oxytocin, the “peace hormone” and how to tap into its power to reduce stress and anxiety, and give you a feeling of peace!
Click here for a post on “Tips for Reducing Stress, Media, and Clutter”!
Today I took an hour To rearrange my things To think about my goals And to reignite my dreams I went from shelf to shelf To gaze upon each book As if to stop and ask myself To take a deeper look To think of who I want to be The skills I hope to learn To set imagination free To love, to grow to yearn. I found my favorite basket Full of other people’s things I dumped it out, and asked it To be the keeper of new dreams. I start fresh from empty And held it with one hand Without hesitation we Set off to make new plans. I found my favorite books again And promised to begin To treat them as my dear friends, And then I found some pens I found my father’s Bible Filled with his notes and lines I’ll take his thoughts once more to heart and try to make them mine. I have a little journal, for each and every child I fill the pages with my prayers Through times of tears and smiles I have some colored pencils Some photos and memories I’ll add a story book of course For my little girls to read. My basket is almost ready My heart and mind feel full Now I just need a cup of tea And a journal for my soul Today I took an hour To rearrange my things I’m ready now to grow and learn And to reignite my dreams
These little books help so much because they give you a realistic perspective on how to accomplish the most meaningful things. We grow to be intentional about how we spend our precious time. We learn to invest in the things that make a lasting difference and make everyday life sweet and memorable. These little books help you let go of the things that hold you back, while seeking what truly matters. You will learn to evaluate the demands upon your life, and take a simple, yet mighty step into your dreams, purpose and passion.
As women we feel like we can’t give in to the joys of life if the demands of life are screaming at us. We deny ourselves fun, joy, peace and harmony in life because we are focused on our failures… and the failures of the people around us.
We have to learn to give up on the things that steal our joy, those thoughts that tell us we are falling behind. We need to set aside that vision of what everyone else thinks we ought to be, and be who we were born to be. We need to find true joy in serving others, in caring for our homes, in bringing laughter and smiles to the table… even when things are far from perfect.
We need to learn to find joy in the mud puddles of life. Raising a child is hard. Homeschooling is demanding. Meeting the needs of a husband is challenging. Putting away leftovers and remembering to eat them… ugh who really cares, when what is really needed is more smiles and hugs and passion.
How do we focus on the important things without neglecting the rest? I made these little books to help you discover how. And it only takes 4 minutes a day. You can just keep this book, and a pen, by the toilet, if nothing else.
Need some specific encouragement from other moms? Aside from joining our Facebook support group (and there is also this group if you are new to homeschooling!), grab a copy of The Homeschool Letters! In this book over 35 homeschooling moms share their hearts, explaining what they wish they knew when they first started. The art and logic activities in this book are borrowed from the book “Lost & Found” it’s a brain fog therapy for women who need to sharpen their minds.
Or maybe you need a secret weapon for the “littles” in your life?
The Littlest Kindergarten Workbook is all about animals, and its 4.5″ x 6″ size is perfect for tiny hands.
It has over 100 pages of do-it-yourself beginner learning, covering everything from letters, numbers, weather, shapes, colors, poetry, animals, handwriting and more. Includes a poem that talks about God’s gifts to us.
Just a “little” encouragement to help you begin the new year well!
Ember creating Dead Sea SoaksAbby making Jerusalem Stone bracelets
Do you have kids who don’t want anything to do with “FUN-school”?
MOM TIP: Some kids blank out, show resistance and roll their eyes when you say “What do you want to learn about?”
I have found that you will get a lot farther with a difficult child when you ask these 2 questions instead:
1. What do you want to DO?
2. What do you want to KNOW?
Learning is just the journey to reach the end goals of “knowing and doing.” Kids WANT to DO and KNOW.
To learn is HOW we find out the way to DO & to KNOW.
The idea of learning makes kids miserable because so much of traditional learning is irrelevant to their goals of DOING and KNOWING.
Every child wants to KNOW STUFF.
Every Child wants to DO STUFF.
Even my five new kids who spent 4 years in an orphanage want to KNOW and DO… but ask them what they want to “Learn for School” and they meltdown or shutdown or reject the whole idea of learning. They were so excited to talk about what they want to KNOW and DO.
Once I knew what they were interested in actually accomplishing, I started giving them tools to reach their goals, and they don’t even think it is “education” because this looks nothing like the “school” they had in mind.
Are you afraid of failing? Don’t be. There are some amazing examples of “beauty for ashes” throughout history–Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein!
You are going to enjoy life and homeschooling so much more if “fear of failure” isn’t such a big deal. It’s totally fine if you fail. It’s really not a big deal if you try something and it doesn’t work. It’s fine if you take a risk and the results are messy. It’s okay to do something that is less than perfect. It’s fine to not be that girl who seems to have it all together. Fear of failure is just going to hold you back from living life to the fullest.
Why do we think it’s a big deal to make mistakes? Because we went to school, and we were shamed by our poor grades and our misspelled words and our test scores. We were taught that the worst thing you can do is…. try and fail. I fail at stuff all the time, but I’m over it. I don’t like messing up, but I try and sometimes things do turn out wonderful.
If you want peace in your mothering- live your life from a place of grace and courage, with love! You don’t need to be driven by fear of failure because failure is totally okay. That’s how we learn! So be okay, don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s better to erase fear of failure from your motivations. Keep trying, pursuing, dreaming!
“If you hear a voice within you saying ‘you cannot paint’ then by all means paint,
and that voice will be silenced.” ~Vincent Van Gogh
When you are feeling stuck because you are afraid to fail, just tell yourself that it’s actually not that big of a deal. You are resilient. Your kids are resilient. Everyone will be fine, and you will be a better example to your children if you are motivated by things like love, curiosity, faith or creativity… even if you don’t like the result EVERY TIME.
Everyone fails…it’s important to show our kids an example of what it looks like to fail well. When something doesn’t work out, it becomes either a stumbling block or a stepping stone. Show them how to step up and forward with courage and grace!
Time for a refreshing reboot? Grab your favorite relaxing drink, one of our Art Logic Therapy journals, and find a cozy corner for a little while. It will do wonders for refocusing your perspective!
Mom-School happens when you remember who you are through your passions, your interests and your needs. You fill a basket with learning tools for yourself, then in your free time you dig into your Mom-School Basket, read a book or watch a tutorial about something you want to learn… instead of watching TV, Netflix, or cruising Facebook.
Mom-School energizes me while the children curiously look into my basket, watch me learn, see me grow… and they discover that I am not just their mom, but a woman with dreams, goals, ideas, needs and desires.
They see me research and join me for an online class, they flip through my Mom-School Journal and see my careful efforts and beautiful handwriting. They see me as someone who is curious, they see me as a detective, an explorer, a creator, a follower, a leader and a friend.
Mom-School is waking up with ideas, and being full of wonder. It’s problem solving and crafting, it’s higher education or a new recipe.
Mom-School is remembering who you are in the midst of the busy season of mothering and holding on to your dreams so your children will be inspired to become who they were created to be, because they are basking in the example of you.
Mom-School is refreshing and calming, and it’s worth your time and mine. Mom-School is empowering to you as a woman and sets the stage for your children to follow your example because you make learning look so delightful.
The problem with being a homeschooling mom is that we feel so driven to accomplish the things that are defined as “Necessary” that we often push the “Important” things off our plates and procrastinate.
We MUST focus some of our time and energy on the things that are important, and therein you will find JOY!
If your life revolves around doing the things that you “HAVE TO GET DONE OR ELSE!” your life will be full of stress and anxiety and this feeling that you are doing SO MUCH but you don’t have time for what matters.
So often the “Necessary” things wear us out and keep stacking up. Tell me what is SO important about the IMPORTANT things and why is it NECESSARY to focus on the IMPORTANT THINGS TOO?
“Don’t sacrifice the permanent on the altar of the immediate”–good words to consider when weighing this question. Ultimately, what is the lasting thing that I should invest in with my energy and focus?
One important thing? Self care. Your making self care a priority teaches them to do the same.
We all have moments and seasons that we look back on and wonder how we made it through. Enjoy one of my Facebook posts from a decade ago…
I found a journal from 2004 – Moms – you need a laugh… I had a made a list of all the “toddler trouble” Anna got into in one week.
The Setting: Rachel is one month old. Estera is 1 1/2, Anna is 3, and Isaac is 5.
Anna’s Top 20 for the Week of May 5th 2004:
1. Anna mixes ice-cream, sprinkles, popcorn and cat food.
2. Anna plays with a slug until she kills it.
3. Anna gets baby out of swing all by herself.
4. Anna glues paper to the floor.
5. Popcorn dumped all over floor.
6. Anna & Estera put celery in the potty.
7. Anna dumps Wheat Chex into bath tub.
8. Anna makes art with peanut butter.
9. Anna cuts her hair.
Remnants of an experiment…
10. Anna spreads glue stick all over.
11. Anna dumps the chalk twice and eats it.
12. Anna paints and colors everything but the paper.
13. Anna sprinkles poppy seeds all over the house.
14. Anna goes bug hunting.
15. Anna sneaks off with a plate of spaghetti, and decorates house with it.
16. I look out the upstairs window to see diapers scattered all over the roof – Anna?
17. Anna sneaks away with the popcorn popper and knocks over a large glass container, shattering it all over the laundry room.
18. Anna removes ink stick from a red marker. Anna fills a container with water, adds the red ink stick, makes red water.
19. Anna spills red water all over the house.
20. Anna gets the ice cream, all by herself.
What was I doing while Anna was making all these messes? I was nursing baby, homeschooling Isaac, recovering from birth, and cleaning up glass, wheat Chex, peanut butter, glue stick, chalk…
The saying is so true…”The days are long, but the years are short!” Cherish each moment you can. Today, Anna is a beautiful, talented, inspiring young woman. You will survive, and they will thrive. Stay faithful, mom friends!
Here are some ideas for how I try to turn a bad day into a good day.
1. Turn on “Just Dance” for the kids on YouTube.
2. Don’t try to do school as planned. Find a funny way to repurpose a page in a workbook or Fun-Schooling Journal. Let your kids turn the Nature Study page into a Zombie Study page.
3. Take a break from everything that is stressing anyone out.
4. Get out of the house, with or without kids. Preferably without. Haha!
5. Get out a board game or UNO. If you want the older kids to be busy for a long time offer a nice prize to the winner of the Monopoly game.
13. Ask husband to take a bunch of kids to a park. (If you are a single mom, reach out to grandparents or fellow mom friends for a swap play date…and then return the favor!)
14. Get everyone outside for Nature Study.
15. Make an early dinner.
16. Tell the kids that we will have a movie night if they get the house clean, and turn on the happy music while they work.
18. Send a group of older kids to the corner market to get ice cream for everyone.
19. Figure out how to turn tonight into a date night.
20. If all else fails, ask husband to put the kids to bed early. Then clean your room really nice, set out a treat, light a candle, turn on peaceful music, ask husband to bring the wine, lattes, or fresh squeezed orange juice. Be sure to sweetly ask husband to get the kids to bed while while you take a long hot shower. In this case HE WILL do what it takes to get the kids to bed early!
