Two Are Better Than One

Companionship is such a precious gift. Friendship, family, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, husband and wife.

We need others.

I was just reading the words of Solomon today and thinking about how damaging it can be for so many young adults who are sent off alone to college, and they end up becoming so lost, distant from all familiar connections at a time when they are so highly influenced.

And we wonder why our child struggles so deeply with truth, identity, connection and boundaries.

I don’t think that humans were designed to be severed from their families and communities like this.

Of course most people in our culture think this is somehow healthy and right and it builds up independence. But sometimes the drive for independence is a one way ticket down Lonely Street.

The words of Solomon:

There is one who is alone,

without companion son nor brother.

Yet there is no end to all his labors.

Nor is his eye satisfied with riches.

But he never asks ‘For whom do I toil and deprive myself of good?’

This also is vanity and a grave misfortune.

Two are better than one,

Because they have a good reward for their labor.

For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls,

For he has no one to help him up.

Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm, But how can one be warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.

And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:8-12

I’m so thankful that my daughters have each other and have close friends that they adventure with, work with, go on missions with and serve with.

I’m so thankful that my son and his sweet wife Rita have been companions and have been together when most young adults do things like college, first jobs, immigration, missions and travel alone. I love that they have each other.

I’m so thankful that I lived near Josh all through his college years, his parents asked us to wait until after college to get married, so I found a way to move to a town near his school so we could spend time together and be there for each other, and go to the same church.

I’m so thankful that Anna invited me to be her companion on her trip to Israel. She felt called to go fast and pray in the Judean Desert before going back to Dallas with Rachel to launch His Story The Musical. Today we are learning Jerusalem and going to the place where Jesus spent 40 days fasting.

In times we must go out alone, Jesus is our companion if we receive Him. In times we are called to go alone God brings us companions along the way. But if you are going alone, or if you are sending your child out alone- beware- send them because it’s a calling or a mission and they have been prepared to be cut off from everyone and everything familiar. Don’t just send them out alone because that’s what is normal in our society. Just because it’s normal it doesn’t mean it’s right, good, healthy, natural or in your child’s best interest.

Don’t send them out alone because it’s the default, or because society obligates you to do so. Is it what is really best?

My daughter Anna waited until Rachel turned 18 before she moved out at 21, so she and her sister could go together. They went to Mexico, Dallas, New York and came back to Indiana for a while. Then Rachel came home for 6 months while Anna traveled with other sisters and friends. Esther moved to Oahu, and lives with a friend who is a wonderful companion, like a sister, so blessed. And she visits us multiple times each year.

I just want to encourage the parents who have a heart to set their child on a path unlike the default. I know that a lot of people agree with the idea of launching their kids early into far off places alone, and maybe that’s your child’s calling. Just pray that companionship is part of their story too. Loneliness leads to all kinds of dark places and it’s a big reason for depression, and most young adults in our culture struggle with depression. Does anyone ask why?

We need companions, sisters, brothers, best friends, spouses, mothers and fathers, cousins and partners. Not phones. Phones can never take the place of people.

Be a companion. Be the one who lifts up another when they fall. Be the one who keeps the other warm. Be the one who labors for others. Be the one who enjoys life’s rewards with others. Be that person who loves, forgives, heals, encourages and works hard to make someone else’s life rich and full.

Be the one who is that friend!

And if you want to be sure that your children are never lonely – have more kids, have them close together, adopt a sibling group, or a couple orphans around the same age who have no one.

Filling your life with children is only hard for a short time, but the blessings are endless.

A House Built on the Rock

I’m so thankful for my husband. He is such an incredible father and loving husband. I’m just so blessed to share each day of our lives through everything. When we were 15 and 16 we choose our life verse, and in all the years that followed we lived out the truth of it…

I love being his wife. I love being a woman. I love being a mother. I am so thankful for my amazing body that carried ten children to term and nurtured them so beautifully.

I’m so thankful for how my husband and I have a completed each other and how we have experienced the true miracle of creating a family. I love his selflessness, and how he gives and gives and gives like it is no sacrifice because his heart and mind are set on eternity.

He is such a giver but as he longs to be more and more like Jesus. He always feels like there is so much more work God has to do in him. I love watching him love our family. I love how he can make wise and logical choices when I’m all emotional and reactive! I love how he trusts my intuition and my vision for our calling. I love how we are a team.

A lot of people feel incomplete, confused, like something is missing. I think it’s that feeling God noticed when he put Adam in the garden of Eden. In all of perfect creation Adam was incomplete. He needed a bride, because in himself he was lacking all the glory of the woman God was about to create. Adam was not complete in himself. Not even with God walking with him in the garden.

God didn’t say, “Oops! I made him incomplete–I’d better add female qualities to his nature so he will be finished.” No, God made a woman to be his perfect fit. He said it is not good for a man to be alone. How kind of God!! And what a beautiful creation God made in his work of art called woman.

As I wake up in my husband’s arms there is a feeling of being perfectly matched. A perfect fit. A completion. We are a work of art. We are not perfect, but we are perfectly designed by our wonderful creator to be one. And from our unity we build a family that has a strong foundation of love, and all the blessings that we both bring together. We are so different–we have different strengths and weaknesses–and I find that where I am weak he has strength and when he is lacking, I am gifted.

Sometimes I wonder how it’s even possible to have such a beautiful unity in this crazy world, yet we do. I think it has a lot to do with my husband’s dedication to praying with me and reading the Bible to me every night before we fall asleep. When we were teens he would always pray for me and read the Bible to me before saying goodbye. It was the sweetest day when we wore our wedding rings and didn’t have to say goodbye, and he began our marriage from the very first night by praying over me and speaking God’s words from the open Bible in his hands.

It will be 25 years in May 2023, and what a beautiful 25 years we have had! I’m so thankful that from our childhood we both pursued the heart of God and were willing to choose to live by faith, not giving in to the lies, confusion or voices of culture. We build this house on the ROCK. Unlike the culture this Rock never changes.

I pray my children know the same joy we know. Most of all I pray all my children surrender to the plans of God declared in His word. May they not be swayed by the voice of the culture, but alert to the voice of the Savior.

Jesus promises that He will bless those who trust and obey and build their lives in His Words.

I pray that they will live life in anticipation of eternity.

I pray that they will intimately know Him, who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think!

Oh the mighty power that is at work in us! Without His power we would never know this beautiful gift of unity, harmony and the grace of life together.

Jesus said everyone who hears His words and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. Then He went on to say everyone who hears His words and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand (Matthew 7:24-26).

If you can’t figure out why your life is a mess, perhaps you are building your life of the sands of cultural confusion instead of the Rock of Jesus. Hear His Words. Put them to practice. It’s never too late to teach the next generation to build on the rock.

The Faces–Not Just the Feast or Festivities

Thanksgiving 2017

It’s so very easy to get wrapped up in all the shopping, menus, and special trappings of the holiday season. Let’s look for new, creative ways to make memories and love others this year.

The holidays can be hard for some, particularly those who have suffered a loss. If you have someone who needs to know that they are loved, get our Little Book of Letters from Your Friends for them and pass it around to all their friends and family.

If you have a friend who is moving, in the hospital, expecting a new baby, going through a trial, or suffering from loss – they need to know that they are loved and remembered. You and your mutual friends can fill this little book with letters, verses, poems, prayers and affirmations. How wonderful it would be to open up this little book while experiencing a lonely moment, in the waiting room or on a plane.

This book can also be used as a book of celebration and courage! If someone you love is celebrating an important event, like a graduation, or moving to a new place, this book can become a wonderful keepsake full of encouragement and celebration. If someone you love is having a birthday, fill this book with blessings for the new year!

What could be more special than a book of letters from the ones you love? Think about the people in your life who need to be remembered or celebrated. Light up their lives with a little book of letters. This book will become a priceless treasure.

Sometimes we need to give a gift that reminds our loved ones of how precious they are. In a digital world, sometimes we need to put our love on paper.

Pick up some colored pencils and gel pens to give along with this book. This book has some beautiful coloring pages that can bring peace and joy to your friend during quiet moments.

This is the perfect gift for anyone whose love language is “Words of Affirmation” or “Gifts”.