How to Fail Well

Do you remember The Magic School Bus? Miss Frizzell, the teacher, would always say, “Take chances, get messy, make mistakes!” She had it right!

Above is a little message I posted in 2020 on our YouTube channel, about why we should be willing to fail, mess up and get messy in life. Two moms left me a comment that I thought many of us could relate to… you can read them at the YouTube link.

One mom is so afraid that she will make mistakes and her kids could have a hard life because of her failures…

My thoughts on this: Guess what? It’s actually okay if our kids fail, it’s okay if life is hard for them, it’s okay for them to learn tough lessons. What they need is a mom who is an example of trying again. We actually need to teach our kids to fail gracefully, rather than not fail.

Learning how to fail well is an important life skill!

Failure is good for our kids. Let them experience the natural consequences of their actions. We often protect our kids from very good learning experiences – because we want to look like good parents. We often try too hard to cushion the fall or step in just before they mess something up. We wear ourselves out trying to puff them up. Mistakes are necessary, they help us mature. Don’t be shocked when they mess up, love them through it – but don’t feel like mom always needs to bail them out.

Show grace or compassion – be intentional about it. Encourage them to deal with the messes that they make. Don’t try to fix everything for them. Let them figure out how to handle their wrongs and try to make things right. What I mean is that they need to learn to take responsibility so they can grow up and be responsible.

I’m not saying to let them do serious damage, of course – but when they do cause damage (and they will do some awful stinky things) expect it and let them make things right. You don’t need to do everything for them.

Life will be hard for everyone at some point or other. But what can help people overcome in hard times?

Faith. Creativity. Innovation. And a willingness to get back up, try again, learn and grow, and invest in their relationships during hard times. Instead of trying to do your best to help your kids avoid failing and hard times, show them how to handle it well.

Go and have a messy life!

Reboot, Refresh, Succeed!

Are you afraid of failing? Don’t be. There are some amazing examples of “beauty for ashes” throughout history–Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein!

You are going to enjoy life and homeschooling so much more if “fear of failure” isn’t such a big deal. It’s totally fine if you fail. It’s really not a big deal if you try something and it doesn’t work. It’s fine if you take a risk and the results are messy. It’s okay to do something that is less than perfect. It’s fine to not be that girl who seems to have it all together. Fear of failure is just going to hold you back from living life to the fullest.

Why do we think it’s a big deal to make mistakes? Because we went to school, and we were shamed by our poor grades and our misspelled words and our test scores. We were taught that the worst thing you can do is…. try and fail. I fail at stuff all the time, but I’m over it. I don’t like messing up, but I try and sometimes things do turn out wonderful.

If you want peace in your mothering- live your life from a place of grace and courage, with love! You don’t need to be driven by fear of failure because failure is totally okay. That’s how we learn! So be okay, don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s better to erase fear of failure from your motivations. Keep trying, pursuing, dreaming!

“If you hear a voice within you saying ‘you cannot paint’ then by all means paint,

and that voice will be silenced.” ~Vincent Van Gogh

When you are feeling stuck because you are afraid to fail, just tell yourself that it’s actually not that big of a deal. You are resilient. Your kids are resilient. Everyone will be fine, and you will be a better example to your children if you are motivated by things like love, curiosity, faith or creativity… even if you don’t like the result EVERY TIME.

Everyone fails…it’s important to show our kids an example of what it looks like to fail well. When something doesn’t work out, it becomes either a stumbling block or a stepping stone. Show them how to step up and forward with courage and grace!

Time for a refreshing reboot? Grab your favorite relaxing drink, one of our Art Logic Therapy journals, and find a cozy corner for a little while. It will do wonders for refocusing your perspective!

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